How to stop seeing the bad in everything? Recently I was asked a question: “Why do I notice the negative first in all situations? I go to the theater, go on a trip or meet with friends, and it seems everything would go well. But then, thinking or telling someone about these events, I note first of all not the good things that happened, but for example, how I rubbed my leg while walking with friends." Answer: Most likely, focusing attention. on the negative - this is your usual way of functioning. Like many things in a person’s life, the roots come from childhood. How this is formed can be explained with an example. Let's say you received a bad mark and were punished for it. Next, you began to worry about getting a bad grade again and, as a result, punishment (carrying the negative experience of the past into the future). By doing this, you were mentally not in the present, but either in the past or the future, in constant fear, and focusing on the negative became habitual. And now, while watching a play in the theater or walking with friends, you can be in this pleasant place with your body , and at the same time remembering how you broke up with your boyfriend (thinking about the past), or worrying about what your boss will call you on the carpet. But you simply don’t notice the good things that are happening here and now. Neuropsychologist R. Hanson says: “Because our brains are predisposed to perceive negativity, it is also important to recognize positive experiences, including feelings such as gratitude, compassion, love of life and self-esteem. When we direct our attention to positive experiences, we help record them in the brain. By using the neural mechanisms of memory, we can overcome the brain's tendency towards negativity and earn "more self-esteem, better mood and gradual healing from sad, even traumatic, experiences." That is, noticing that you notice more bad things in life than good things, you need to be intentional change your focus from negative to positive. Here are a few ways to do this: 1. To be here and now. If I am in a theater, I am both physically and mentally in this theater. If you notice that your thoughts are slipping into the past or future, we return them to the present.2. Gratitude technique. By doing this technique every night before going to bed, you will learn to notice how much good there is in your life, and it will become a habit, thereby changing your focus to a positive one. The essence of the technique is to remember the events that happened during the day, for which you are grateful to yourself, the people around you, and the world (God, the Universe). You can even keep a special gratitude diary.3. Practice this exercise: give other people sincere compliments. Find every little thing you like from everyone you meet and talk about it. Tell the store clerk that she has a beautiful manicure. To a friend about a well-chosen jacket. And then gradually you can learn to automatically pay attention to the good in yourself too.4. Contact a psychologist and work through negative and traumatic situations from the past that affect your life in the present.