Vlad Bondar was admitted to the nephrology department in a state of anorexia. Lively-eyed, athlete, with big plans for the future. Vlad took up swimming from an early age and by the age of 15 he already had both victories and achievements in sports. He was obsessed with success and correspondingly overloaded with stress. His parents were also difficult people. A powerful, controlling mother, filled with fears, rigid and indifferent to her son’s capabilities. Her motto is “through I can’t, through I don’t want.” To subjugate, conquer, command - what time did you get up, what time did you come to training, who did you send the SMS to, what was written in it - it was natural for the mother of a 15-year-old boy. “What are you,” she was indignant, “are you suggesting that I should not read his SMS! Doctor, are you out of your mind? Dad is an idealist, a perfectionist, driven and vulnerable. In the conversation, he recalled that in childhood and adolescence he dreamed of great success. And not just something big, but a colossal one, so that all the neighbors would be jealous, and the parents would finally understand what a unique person their son is. But life turned out differently, there was no success, no one was jealous, his parents didn’t understand anything about him. Sitting between his parents, Vlad made a strange impression. For 15 years he pleased his mother, suppressing all his desires and spontaneity, learning always and in everything, from his mother’s point of view, of course, to be “correct.” - What does being right mean to you? - Well, to come to training on time, not to let you down trainer, parents. Then I feel like I'm doing everything right. On the other hand, for 15 years of his life he struggled to achieve his father's grudging approval. But there was never any approval, because everything is bad, because others have it better. Because Vasya Pupkin is already producing such results, and you’re a brat? Because if you don’t put pressure, don’t push, will this idiot even realize that an “unsuccessful” life is hard, terrible and disgusting. Without success I am so disgusted that I don’t even want to live. The tall, thin dad sighed heavily: “I guess I went too far,” he subtly noted. For Vlad, any parental demand, even if it is incommensurate with his physical and emotional capabilities, is a manifestation of their love and care. This affected him both at 3 years old and at 15 years old; there was no talk of any critical perception. He fulfilled his father's unrealized goals, under his mother's strict supervision. Only the diagnosis of anorexia launched the first sprout of doubt in him. Or maybe something is going wrong? Mom immediately left the consultation as soon as the conversation turned to the need to reduce control and reconsider the strategy of parental influence. But dad stayed. For Vlad, this is a great chance to turn around for recovery and move towards life. “If this happens,” I say, “if you let your son into your life, this will be your greatest success.” Dad nods. “Who would have thought.” I always believed that success was somewhere else. And I won't see him anymore.