From the author: Like everything related to the unconscious, the concept of animus is not always easy to understand. An attempt has been made in this text to explain this as simply as possible. If I get inspiration, I’ll write about anime in one of the following articles. If you like to read something on the topic of psychology, you’ve probably come across such concepts as inner man and inner woman. But, as they say, everyone has heard about it, but few non-specialists know what it is. This is what I wanted to write about. Today we will not talk about the inner woman, for now we will pay attention to the inner man. The inner man is otherwise called animus. This term was introduced into use by Carl Gustav Jung, a famous scientist who revealed to society many concepts related to the unconscious. The animus is the male part of a woman’s personality, hidden in the unconscious. In the context of the individual unconscious, the formation of the animus in girls is carried out in childhood under the influence of life situations with the participation of men (and, of course, the father, if there is one in the environment, or a figure replacing him) , as well as as a result of trends in society, upbringing, immersion in the plots of works of art, films, etc. Animus is a kind of collective image of a man. The “puzzles” from which it is “assembled” are taken from different sources. Some fragments of modern (and not so modern) cinematic creations, as well as books with the creation of some kind of creatures like a “golem”, are metaphorically related to reality, if we consider internal reality to be it. Or we can remember the once popular song with the phrase “I made him out of what I had.” Quite a working comparison. And, it is worth remembering the archetypes that exist in the collective unconscious. They also have something to do with the formation of the animus. Each young lady not only has some kind of her own idea of ​​a man, which is realized, but also has that same animus of her own, archetypally somehow looking and being realized, located in the unconscious and acting from this level accordingly . For one, the model of a man is a big-armed giant (mighty, broad-shouldered and hairy). For another, a black-eyed macho man who has perfected the art of seduction. For a third, a scientist with glasses and a beard. For the fourth - a businesslike and clever entrepreneur. And this inner man, whatever he may be for a particular lady, is projected, again unconsciously, onto real representatives of the stronger sex with all the ensuing consequences. If a woman meets a man whose image is close to her animus, sympathy is difficult to avoid. If the coincidence is quite strong, a feeling of attraction arises and falling in love is not excluded. You have probably even encountered cases that seem contradictory, but make sense if you know about the animus. A girl, for example, who often voiced dreams of a blue-eyed, blond intellectual, was passionately and repeatedly attracted to black-haired, brutal guys who had not read even three books in her life, quite surprising herself and those around her. But such contradictions may not exist. Let’s say that dreams are not so different from what actually happens later. However, even in this place, dear ladies, a trap awaits us. A complete coincidence is extremely rare. A mature readiness for a relationship, a loudly ticking biological clock, a period of prolonged loneliness or something similar sometimes forces us to put on rose-colored glasses, behind which the missing details of a man’s image are instantly completed and the unnecessary ones are hidden. And, voila, falling in love and relationships arise. A woman, in the presence of the object of her love, feels more complete and happy, because in him she sees, as in a mirror, a part of her soul - her own animus. In such a relationship, based on falling in love, a part of the soul that had once escaped, hidden until now in the abyss of the unconscious, seems to come to life in a woman. “Here it is, real life!” - understandsshe dissolves in bliss! It would seem that live and be happy, but this does not happen often. Alas, sooner or later disappointment usually comes, because constantly wearing glasses, even pink ones, is quite tiresome. And they fall, breaking. During this period, a woman is not only disappointed and surprised, but sometimes shocked. I think colleagues remember many times when a client said something like: “...he’s not who he said he is” or “...I don’t know him at all.” In fact, this is true. She knows him little, although there was not a penny of deliberate pretense on his part. There was only a real desire to be the best for her. This is so natural for a period of mutual love...Does this mean that the collapse of the relationship cannot be avoided? Not at all necessary. It is impossible to avoid parting with illusions. The collapse of relationships at the previous level cannot be avoided. But it is quite possible to learn to love the person himself, and not his own projection. As well as learning to be aware of your own projections. If you want to give up the idea of ​​bringing reality up to your expectations. With desire, determination and firm intention, relationships can not only be maintained, but also improved and brought to a higher level, which is not for the lazy. Snapping your fingers and casting a magic spell won't help. It will take work. Real relationships that can become truly harmonious and mature begin only from here - from the moment of a sober look at reality and the decision to act. Mature relationships are relationships of mature people. The movement towards inner maturity is a whole path, difficult, but fruitful. For some it begins with the desire for self-improvement, for others with the decision to be there no matter what, to grow together, to learn to love each other as they are, and not their projections - not only into the best, but also in not very easy periods. In fairness, I note that it happens that the anima and animus of the partners complement each other very well even in the absence of maturity. Then the rose-colored glasses of love do not crumble into dust, but at times are taken off and put on again. But these cases are quite rare. You can look for such a partner. How much trial and error are you willing to do in the name of this? Where is the guarantee that you will find it? But even on this path there is a trap waiting, which is called satiety. But that's a completely different story. And it's not really about growth. Let’s return better to what the inner man is in a woman. The division into male and female is very arbitrary, but still, if anima is the feelings and intuition of a man, then the animus in a woman is rationality, reason, judgment. The animus gives her the opportunity to understand male nature and get closer to her own integrity. Animus – confidence, activity, logic, the ability to look at things soberly, move in society, learning, intelligence. All this gives a lot of opportunities and is considered a positive manifestation of the animus in moderation. There is also a negative aspect of the animus. It sometimes manifests itself in excessive attachment to norms and rules, rigidity, despoticism, authority, etc. The animus in many ways conveys to a woman the characteristics of a paternal figure, and fathers, as we know from experience, can be either wise and prudent, or dominant tyrants or internally broken victims, etc. A weak inner man makes a woman susceptible to influence, insecure, weak-willed . Being overly critical often leads to self-criticism and/or blaming others. Rejecting - to her obsession with jealousy, sometimes without reason. An obsession with one’s own animus makes its owner inflexible, domineering and dogmatic, and also, alas, unfeminine. The inner man in a woman with all its characteristics, as I said above, is part of her soul. If this part of the soul is lost or “unhealthy”, “deformed”, inharmonious, then it reasonably strives to find its place, needs healing and gravitates towards this. To this end, she pushes a woman into relationships with men who are capable of becoming as clear a projection of the animus as possible, and “attracts” them in order to live through problematic situations. :-)