The Inner Critic and the right to happiness. Client. Young woman. With diverse interests, with a pleasant appearance, with intellectual potential, appreciated by her teachers at the institute, with willpower, a desire for personal development. Her situation is really not simple: a small child, difficulties in finding a job, and, as a result, financial problems. The main concern is the absence of a beloved man. This is what there is - objective reasons not to be satisfied with fate. And this evokes sympathy and respect for her tenacity in the struggle against circumstances to achieve her goal - the search for personal happiness. But what is this struggle about? Let’s talk about the subjective in this story. It’s very jarring to hear how she constantly calls herself, directly labels herself: “I am a single mother,” something akin to “second-fresh sturgeon.” To say the least, the client’s attitude towards herself is strange. Her mother’s condemnation and shaky relationship with a man did not stop her from making a choice: “give birth.” Your own choice. And now – voluntary “self-immolation”... It is important to understand where such a cruel idea of ​​second-classness comes from. It would be nice to argue with the sources of this idea! (Who are you, Critic?) The most important task is to stop judging yourself for your “loneliness” with your child. In the meantime... It turns out that the difficulty is that the critical voice at the most inopportune moment reminds her of her supposed inferiority. “How will I find a husband, I’m with a small child - I can’t even go on a date.” (Objectively, now most people have cars to get to a meeting with the woman they like, and the client has a mother with whom she can sometimes leave the child.) In addition, the Critic discredits the very idea of ​​dating, recalling an unsuccessful experience: “You have a child, you you get tired, and a man needs a holiday, you must entertain him and always please him, give in, guess and fulfill his desires.” In fact, a serious relationship involves both facing problems and helping. But the inner Critic will always choose moments of failure. A young woman cannot even imagine that a man can love her just like that, and there is no need to buy his love with eternal holidays. But the Critic doesn’t let her understand this! He insists that she is not good in some things, and in some ways she is even “flawed” (!), which means that until “you get rid of your problems, you can’t hope” for personal happiness. That is, the battlefield turns out to be her own soul! She wants love, and the Critic proves that she is not worthy of it. The soul resists, but where does it go! The forces are not equal and are already running out. There are clearly not enough of them to search for relationships; everyone has gone into internal struggle. A way out? Gradually grow above the Critic - internal introjective voices - other people's beliefs, rigid attitudes, negative opinions. Disassemble them one by one, making sure of their inconsistency, “harmfulness,” and destructive effect on personality and destiny. Feel your truth in front of a judgmental Critic. And then self-acceptance will come. Without judgment, with respect and with the right to love.