From the author: If someone asks you to sign them up for a consultation with a psychologist, do not rush to do it. You may be doing this person a disservice. And if you yourself want to sign up someone close to you for a consultation, think twice - after all, in this case, a completely different person may need a consultation... Even if not often, this still happens. The phone rings, and then: - Hello, I want to make an appointment with you for a consultation with my daughter. I’ve already talked to her, she doesn’t mind. - Please sign up for a consultation with my husband. He is at work now, so he instructed me to find a specialist and make an appointment. “I need to make an appointment with you for my sister, she clearly has difficulties in communicating... Three classic cases when it doesn’t come to a consultation - personally in my practice. And, in my opinion, it cannot be achieved in principle. Case one: Someone very patient, good and kind is trying with all his might to send his daughter, son (adults, of course!), husband, brother and even parents to a psychologist. Yes, they are not against it... And here the question arises: since they are not against it, does it mean that the initiative came from someone else? But who really needs a solution to the problem? To the very kind and proactive..."Not against" happens for various reasons - some to get left behind, some for reasons of "why not." But not because it is very, very necessary. Don't be fooled if your loved ones don't mind. There will be no sense in such work. And there will be no results. Case two He or she would really like to change something, decide, work through it... They are aware, they are quite savvy in such matters... or they think they are savvy. But there’s just no time. Affairs, work, meetings, conferences, meetings, children... True, why not delegate at least this little to someone close - find a specialist, call, explain the problem, agree on a consultation date? Working on yourself, including psychological work, requires both motivation and effort. It requires considerable investment - strength, energy, emotions, finances, time... And if there is no time even to sign up for the first consultation, it is naive to believe that it will appear later. If it doesn’t appear, don’t deceive yourself. And besides, choosing a specialist is a very delicate matter! You may not choose the seller in the store where you came to buy groceries. But most people choose and look for a hairdresser or dentist. They don’t trust nails, hair, teeth to the first person they come across. And here - to entrust your soul, to discuss the most intimate things one on one. When choosing a psychologist, psychotherapist, coach, perhaps you should listen to yourself precisely in connection with such questions - will I be comfortable with this person? Am I ready to discuss my life, my experiences and problems with him? No one, even the closest person, can replace you in this choice. And when explaining the “problem,” no one can replace you. It will turn out to be a game of dead-end telephone, when the information transmitted through an intermediary will be hopelessly distorted... In the end, there will be (as in the first case) neither results nor any sense. Case three is the funniest, although in a sad sense. If it SEEMS to you that someone is having difficulties (in life, marriage, communication, etc.) and he really, really needs to see a psychologist, most likely, in fact, this someone is you... But you may not accept this each and not immediately. And when he accepts, there is time, strength, desire, and opportunities..