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Fruits are different. With a thick crust, but soft inside. Soft and juicy, but with a hard bone. Soft both inside and out. The day before I mentally applied the theory of fruits to motherhood. An article from a colleague prompted me to think about these thoughts. And I thought it was worth writing about which fruit is better for a mother to have in order to have a harmonious relationship with her children. What fruit are you? In our culture, children are raised by women. Children often behave differently in front of their mothers than in front of others. Firstly, depending on how much time a child spends with another, the child’s behavior also depends. Mom, like a fruit, the children have tasted and know what she is like and what to expect from her. If mom is always soft, both inside and out, then the children sit on the neck. Perhaps there are attitudes that you need to be gentler and kinder with children. And also the fear of not injuring the child is accompanied by a feeling of guilt. As a result, the mother can quickly get tired, feel a loss of strength, feel despondent and powerless. If the mother, like an ensign, is tough, strict, active and authoritarian, then hypercontrol, devaluation and empathy may appear. There may be attitudes that a woman must be strong, men cannot be trusted, it is bad to be weak, one cannot give up, or “I am all on my own.” Inside, she can also be callous and inaccessible. The range of feelings is limited. This is something similar to a peach that was brought to the counter in May: it seems beautiful, with a blush, it even smells like a peach, but if you bite into it, you will break a tooth. It can be very difficult for a child to live with such a mother. If there is a thick peel on the outside and juicy pulp on the inside, then such a fruit is pleasant to eat. Such a mother is quite empathetic, has boundaries and withstands them, but is ready to give her juice (energy, love) and nourish her child with vitamins. There is a risk that the child will take advantage of this, “overeat” the mother’s energy, and the disturbed balance will lead to depletion of vitality mothers. Because of her inner softness, a mother may feel guilty or helpless. Due to drought (lack of resources and self-care), the peel becomes denser, the mother may experience a reluctance to be touched or distracted. Like a cucumber with irregular watering - thick peel, watery flesh with bitterness. People don’t taste it, the cucumber is sad. Or another example from the garden: during the heat, tomatoes grow thick skin and juicy pulp inside. But there is such a moment: if you water tomatoes generously during the heat, the skin begins to crack and there is a risk of rot. This moment metaphorically applies to the situation when a mother, soft inside, tries to replenish her resources and her energy with some drastic actions, that is, not regularly. Then its boundaries, image (skin) can crack and energy leaks out, which means the mother is exhausted faster. Soft on the outside, hard on the inside. Such a mother is able to regulate her energy and emotions, showing gentleness, empathy, and care. At times she indulges her children. But inside she feels a strong support, a core, that anyone who encroaches on her rights can break a tooth on the authority and steadfastness of decisions. This solid core is internal support, self-confidence. Inside the bone there is always a soft seed. And this seed is like love to yourself and taking care of yourself as a person, a woman. This is exactly what a future mother should learn first. Thanks to a fertile, healthy seed, a tree grows, and fruits appear on it, juicy and sweet, our children eat them. I will be grateful for your comments and likes ! To also have strong support inside, and not become stale from problems over the years, contact the author of the article.

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