From the author: the article was published in the workshop of the Center for Positive Psychology "TAK!" www.treningi.meHow to make wishes correctly. From the series “Getting Ready for the New Year.” Before each New Year, we all, like children, deep down in our souls begin to believe in miracles and fairy tales and think about what good things we could ask from Santa Claus, Fate, God, the Universe, and those around us , well, or at home. “But if only…” we begin.. And then our inner critic interrupts the anticipation of happiness with a monologue: Ha-ha, I’m daydreaming! Last year I wanted a BMW X5, what did I get? A used wreck! Did you want to marry Vasya? Your apartment? What did you receive? Cat’s tail! And we wilt and say to our inner critic: “okay, okay, but at least the salary can be raised by 6 thousand?” “It’s possible,” he agrees, but by two, there is no higher education, hands out of hand, no connections... Well do we? Either we agree, or we stick our tongue out at our critic and declare: “Well, screw you, and to spite you again, I’ll wish for Beha and marry Vasya!” Probably, at this point it’s time to stop the story, so as not to retell the same thing in a circle from year to year same. And talk about why our desires are not fulfilled and what to do about it. 1. ABOUT THE MEANING OF DESIRE Sometimes, when making a wish, we do not understand their meaning at all or replace it with another. And this is the most common reason for unfulfilled or “wrongly” fulfilled desires. What is most surprising is that almost all the wish fulfillment technologies that I am familiar with are silent about it. The meaning of fulfilling desires can often be found only in spiritual practices. Now, imagine, I want to marry Vasya! It's already the 3rd year, by the way! But he, the goat, doesn’t want to! Ask yourself the question: “What’s the point for me?” - Well. Vaska is cool. He is wealthy, cheerful, handsome. - What's the point? - I can afford to buy trinkets, I won't be bored, everyone in society will admire me, what a handsome guy I grabbed! - And if you start earning money on trinkets yourself, entertain yourself and do so, to be admired in society? - Yes. But I want to be with a man. But then it’s not necessary Vasya ;)? And there’s no point in getting hung up on Vasya anymore. OR - I want to earn a huge mountain of money! - Why? - to travel - one will say. - so that they respect me - another will say - so that I have more time for their favorite things and all three need to fulfill different desires. And they all don’t need to prepare a shovel to rake in money, because... in most cases, their desires are fulfilled in a completely different way. It’s a pity when we get hung up on one way of achieving what we want and often don’t see their true meaning for us: (I had one unique case at the Fulfillment of Desires training. - My main thing desire - career growth! - Why? - I want to earn a lot! - Why? - I will save! - Why? - I will save up and be able to work less, pay more attention to my wife and children!?!! There is no need to replace the MEANING of a desire with the way of fulfilling it. Decide. , what is the meaning of fulfilling a desire for you personally and work with it. 2. THE DESIRE IS INCORRECTLY FORMULATED. Those desires that lack clarity, specificity, and what I want as a result are not clear or incorrectly indicated are also not fulfilled. Or formulated in the negative: I don’t want to work at this job anymore! But what I want is unclear! Let’s fantasize. Imagine, the heavenly office receives a request: - I want a wife! - Why is she scary and doesn’t know how to cook?: (- I want to be loved! - AH! Get rid of this snotty Petya, I hate him with his love!!! And give me a prince! What? There was no application for a prince??! They say correctly: be afraid of your desires, especially incorrectly formulated ones! So: 1. The desire must be formulated in a positive way (not what you want to get away from, but what you want to come to).2. Contain the specific result you need. It is the final result, and not the movement towards it. For example, IT IS NOT TRUE “I’m losing weight, I’m becoming slimmer...”. You can lose weight endlessly, for years. And never lose weight. “I’m slim and beautiful, I weigh 65 kg” - true3. Should you wish.