From the author: Do you have any questions? Ideas for publication, and more? Write. I received a letter with questions: Hello, dear Sergey Vladimirovich! Please tell me, if possible on your part, what to do in a conflict situation at work. I work with a colleague who has an impulsive, explosive character. Reacting to my words, spoken in a respectful manner and related to work, the colleague began to yell at me. She felt that I had infringed on her interests. Swear words were also used. I tried to calm her down and find reasonable arguments, on the basis of which I said this and not otherwise. This is not the first time there has been a conflict situation between us. We have been working together for 8 years. In the current situation, I was again forced to defend myself. And show that there should be boundaries in communicating with me. For example, swearing is unacceptable. There is no more mental strength to compromise. Supplies have dried up. At the moment, I have made a radical decision to quit. The enterprise is small. There are no other vacancies for me. Or the employer does not want to meet halfway. My question is: what can I do in my behavior at the moment in order to continue working with the same colleague for the 2 months I need, and at the same time reduce my mental discomfort as much as possible? I myself am ready to meet halfway. And I try to go. I offer help with your work. I never stopped saying “hello!”... I participate in dialogues and speak respectfully. I call the person by name. The colleague, alas, either does not say hello, or does not say goodbye, and ignores him in every possible way. When deciding work issues, he talks about me in the third person. “I forgot” what my name is. In a word, he is trying to instill in me a feeling of guilt and manipulate my emotions. I pretend not to notice. I consider this professional behavior and the only possible one. I don’t want any new squabbles. And I'm not just uncomfortable. Sometimes we realize that we don’t owe each other anything. I remember your words that I read on VK: yes, there are many people for whom I am not suitable. At other times it hurts a lot. Believe it or not, two days after our collision it was so hard that I didn’t even want to live. How can you not defend yourself? Nobody will intercede. How not to set boundaries of what is permitted? AND HOW TO KEEP FRIENDLY RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE AT THIS TIME, WHICH IS IMPORTANT? And, if you allow me, I would also like to ask you. I stopped wanting to communicate with people. At work too. The reason, for example, is gossip. And, if you want, in insincerity. First they talk to me, smiling in my eyes. In a couple of minutes the topic of conversation will come up somewhere in the smoking room. Already about me. In criticism and not the most flattering opinion. And this... whatever topic is discussed!.. I would really like to be an open person for people. Communicate with a pure heart. On a variety of topics. However, having opened up once or twice, relaxed, so to speak, I then receive, excuse the not the most beautiful words, an enema in the anus. And it hurts so much!.. The soul cannot stand insincerity. I almost completely stopped communicating. I feel endlessly lonely. But I don’t want to open up anymore. I read somewhere that such behavior at work and anywhere else in communication brings strangers together, even “glues them together.” It’s so nice to criticize someone or simply throw mud at someone undeservedly! It's difficult for me to formulate the question. Maybe how to find a compromise between the desire to communicate openly and friendly and the fear that my soul will be wounded again?— — —I answer. Hello. Both questions are related. You seem to be a very polite, tactful person who believes openness is the best policy and expects others to be the same, or at least strive to be so. And you're disappointed when it's not. One of my colleagues in such cases says something like this: “Welcome to the adult world. Not everyone is going to love you, and some will even try to fuck you.” One of the traditions of our country is to consider work as a second home and try to build almost.