Can a person remain a person in the inhuman space of natural elements and space? Will a person remain a person in the long and constant absence of other people? Man does not exist without man. Vygotsky wrote beautifully about this. But at what bleak moment in life does a person disappear as an individual surrounded by other people? I’m talking about obligations, guilty obligations, manipulations and other “hell of the other”, which I constantly work with in private practice. The world of people is an absolutely precise and finely calibrated chaos, living according to clear and precise laws that are simply not fully open. They will never be completely open. We can predict the future of the family only some time in advance. How easy is it to maintain oneself in emotionally significant social relationships? It's possible. Family, soil, land. Family provides support and resource for moving forward. But. If you never learn to look ahead from the point of reference that happened in the family at the time of your birth, you will begin a movement that is opposite to the natural plan. Like a moth around a garden lantern, you will try to get warmth where destruction awaits you. Let go of the guilt. Wine, better than any protective ditches with boiling resin, protects the individual from attempts and possibilities of change. On the other hand, if I change, and with open eyes I overcome my guilt before my family (in particular, before my parents), I open up a new understanding of them, and a new space of love for them. In this new space, I have my own personal choice, which they may or may not accept. Love in which I am free and can remain close to them, experiencing this as my conscious choice, and not as a forced measure of their deprivation without me. But in this new territory there is a big risk of learning about myself that I am bad. Guilt at work. I can look at my parents from a distance while being nearby. I can move further and further away from them, which can also be an act of love. I can understand that this is not a bad thing to do. This is my action as a mature person. Sometimes loving your neighbor means leaving him alone. Accepting the choice of others and defending your own is the work of each participant in the overall story of life. Mikhail Samadurov