The topic of the article was inspired by the figure of the feeling of guilt, which became common this Wednesday for the participants of the group that I conduct weekly for relatives and friends of alcohol and drug addicts. The statements of the group members about this experience are of a difficult nature: “I am being manipulated,” “I am suffering from this.” I would like to note that in such family systems there is a certain tendency to avoid feelings of guilt in various ways. Now I will not delve into the origins of the formation of this experience, but will go “on the surface”, starting from what exists and highlight the main ways of dealing with it:⁃ having experienced guilt, convict a loved one of pressure, i.e. recognize the aggressor and launch a retaliatory attack against him; ⁃ having experienced a feeling of guilt, do something like that to yourself, for the sake of another, so that this experience will decline and be eliminated completely. In the first and second cases, the experience of guilt is accompanied by an attempt to “jump out” of the feeling with any aggressive action directed externally or at oneself, which does not give anyone a chance to understand it, comprehend it and analyze it. In dependent family systems, such treatment of experience has its own protective function, covering up such places as: ⁃ presentation of anger, without searching for the culprit; ⁃ loneliness when defending your interests; ⁃ fear when defending your own individuality. It is difficult to find a simple way out of this dead end because... this situation consists of many factors, at a minimum: ⁃ violation of one’s own sensitivity and connection with needs, ⁃ mixed personal boundaries in relationships (where someone is responsible for other people’s desires and needs), ⁃ the ability to analyze oneself and one’s state is replaced by control over the actions of another person. In the next article I will write how you can help yourself and where to look for a way out if you find yourself in similar situations. However, if the feeling of guilt is already constantly haunting you in relationships, preventing you from living according to your ideas about yourself, contact a specialist. The effect of such a feeling of guilt is harmful to mental health, although it provides the usual security, maintaining the status quo of the current situation.