From the author: Reflections from the author of trainings for women on how to take away some of the finances from wealthy men I received a letter: Lisa! Can you comment on my situation, give your vision of my problem? I am dating a successful man. I read your book “Alpha Male. Instructions for use”, I realized that my beloved is a beta male. He is not a leader, not the “leader of the pack”, he is the second, deputy leader, but still rich and successful, he has several apartments and a good income. In sex, he is a god, he teaches me new things, I accept this science with gratitude. I'm not working right now. I asked for money - he didn’t give it. Doesn't give gifts. Why doesn't he give it? I'm losing my femininity because of this. How can I make it start providing more than just energy?” Let's try to figure it out. Firstly, it is very important that there is an understanding of the type of man from a point of view that is far from Taoist philosophy, based on a deep understanding of the laws of the universe. The “alpha-beta-omega” typology, although primitive, gives reason for thought. Beta males are generally not known for their generosity, to put it mildly. They are very prudent and economical, control every penny, try to extract minimal benefits at every opportunity, chase discounts, bargain with sellers until they themselves become disgusted. For them, prestige is most important; it is important for them that they meet the conventional standard that is accepted in their environment. And it is also important for them to be an exact copy of the alpha male, while not having the slightest understanding of why the alpha leader has everything as if by itself, while he, the poor beta deputy, has to fight for everything. “A camel has two humps, because life is a struggle,” is the slogan of the beta wannabes. And at the same time they are pathologically jealous. If your friend is "beta", then that is his nature. Nothing can be done about it. All that remains is to figure out what is more important to you - sex and love or gifts. I just spoke with my Tao teacher. He said: “A woman should be independent from anyone, especially from a man. You cannot demand gifts, you cannot expect them.” The main thing is emotions and energy exchange. The rest is commercialism. Everything could seem so simple if it weren’t for the main law of the world in which we revolve - the law of interaction between the energies of yin and yang. If a woman and a man are independent, and this is one side of the coin, then what is the opposite of independence? I would venture to guess that you will be surprised, and maybe even shocked: the yin-yang of the relationship between a man and a woman is the balance between independence and... dependence! American psychologists Bury and Janey Weinhold suggested that a person goes through four stages at the stage of personality formation. The first three stages are dependence, counter-dependence, independence. This is the path of finding one’s own “I”, realizing oneself as an individual with all the unique qualities, perhaps not only positive ones. This is the way to gain confidence in your abilities, faith in yourself as a person. And only when a person achieves a sense of freedom, he reaches the highest level of relationships with the world - interdependence. Mutual dependence is a strict formulation for a completely natural and necessary quality for survival in society - the ability to trust other people and rely on their support. When two psychologically mature people connect, the tandem finds harmony. Interdependence is a reasonable, civilized form of energy exchange. Anyone who knows how to lean on also knows how to lend a shoulder, because he understands the value of such interaction. Returning to the question with which we began this difficult conversation, we can assume that there is some kind of problem in the couple as a whole, because there is never one guilty party, and a codependent character always appears next to the dependent one. One does not know how to give, the other does not know how to receive. Energy exchange is disrupted. The ability to accept lies not only in words of gratitude for a gift, but in the very organic ability to receive and process energy.!