"Please help me return my husband to the family, return the relationship that existed between you. We loved each other so much...." - many of my colleagues probably heard similar words from the lips of the women who came for a consultation. Well, okay, it’s clear that you want to return the person, but what’s the point of returning the relationship that ultimately led to the husband leaving the family??? If the husband leaves the family, then in fact there is no more family, because a family is always a man and a woman. Then the second question arises - to which family should the husband be returned if there is no more family??? And accordingly, a third one emerges. fourth and tenth questions - what does it mean to return if a person decides to leave? why return? what will your relationship be like if he returns, etc. But the point is that nothing can be returned back. Nothing. Can you bring yourself back to yesterday? Can you touch yourself from yesterday? Can you bring back yesterday and relive it? NO. So what kind of return are we talking about? This is another game of the ego and nothing more. It is impossible to return anything that has become the past, unless of course we are talking about material objects - returning a book to the library, returning something forgotten from a friend, etc. If your husband or wife left, and the family broke up, that is, it makes sense to put an end to a relationship that was reduced to zero and ended. Yes, you still have feelings for the person inside you, but these are your feelings and the person essentially has nothing to do with it. Only by letting the person go. Only by parting gracefully do you have the opportunity to create a relationship with this person. It sounds paradoxical, but in fact you have a chance to create a new relationship with an “old person” Yes, new relationships that you will build from scratch, fall in love again, look after each other, learn to hear and listen to each other, trust, learn to be friends, re-learn each other. But for this it is necessary to “zero” all previous resentment, pain, fears, etc. Forgive yourself for all your poor-quality interactions in previous relationships. To build a new relationship, you both must desire this, both must take part in creating a new format of interaction. Any the return of previous patterns of interaction will trigger the previous scenario for the development of relationships that you had already destroyed before. Therefore, before “returning” a departed partner, consider how ready you are to work with yourself, how much you are ready to invest in building relationships, what format of relationships you want to see, etc. .d. A psychologist with whom you can build a strategy for creating a new relationship with a person you have known for a long time can be useful in this. Let go of the past, appreciate what you have in the present, build your future!!! Have a bright autumn! If my articles will be useful to you in the practice of your life! Thank you for your “thank you” that you say by clicking on the “thank you” button" ))