People who come to therapy have different abilities to become aware of what is happening to them. Because of this, they describe their situation differently. And they require different methods.1. The largest group recognizes what is “wrong” solely by events occurring outside, since they are practically not ready to look at themselves from the outside and are incapable of self-reflection: 2. A slightly less extensive group asks questions about methods, since they are able to recognize their behavior: “- Fairy, how much can you eat without having to pay anything for it? - Cinderella, let’s better talk about something simpler! Do you want a pet dragon? 3. Even fewer are interested in the reasons for what is happening, since they have the ability to reflect thinking: “Doctor, my wife is cheating on me, but the horns are not growing... Is it because there is not enough calcium?” 4. And very rare specimens are interested in goals, since they have the ability to understand their motivation: “Mom, why do I need to go home, am I hungry or tired? - You’re cold!” Awareness of motivations is a very, very high level of development of consciousness, requiring high abilities. This is a much higher level than the previous three: from a complete inability to understand anything about oneself, automaticity in decision-making to a higher level, when the ability to become aware of one’s behavior or even thinking appears: A person who is aware of what motivates him can choose as a result of this recognition, motivation of a higher level; Which leads to the choice of more capacious mental models; Which allows you to choose more effective models of behavior that increase success, resource stability and security. The bulk of the population collects more effective ways of behavior to solve their problems. Very few of them realize that they can make samples themselves if they find a more comprehensive understanding. And very few people grasp that understanding can also be chosen if one is aware of one’s motivations and the possibility of their choice. As a rule, people do not move on to using the tools of the next level of reflection if they can use the resources of the previous level. For example, a girl who wants a relationship will not dress better or behave more kindly if she already has a lot of “suitors” who can be changed as soon as they cause the slightest discomfort in communication. It will remain at the level of automatic use of resources until a crisis occurs in one of them. For example, when she gets older and faces a shortage of the appearance resource, this will require her to move to the “How?” level: How to look younger? What's the best way to dress? How to get interested? How to meet? How to stay in a relationship? The same girl will not be a consumer of the proposed “understandings”: all sorts of typologies, such as socionics, “5 love languages”, transactional or other suitable analysis, if she has an extensive repertoire of working “How?” This will happen until she is faced with the situation of having to choose between conflicting “effective” ways of coping with the situation. For example, the “path to the heart” of some men does not lie through the stomach, and you need to know “Why?”, and for this you need to understand what is happening, moving from the level of behavior “How?” to the mental level “Why?”. A girl or woman who has well mastered the level “Why?” will not think about her motives until her understanding allows her to effectively choose from “How?” and achieve the desired results. Only when faced with the fact that despite a full understanding of the situation, there is no relationship, will she think about the motives. She may find that she is driven more by the fear of “not being on time” and the benefit of “finding an excellent match” and neglects the important motives of sincere interest and love for people. And therefore, as a result of the internal conflict of interests and imbalance of driving forces, all her “Why?” And How?" do not work. So, there are four types of abilities. Four ways to decide: “What?”, “How?”,"Why?" and “Why?” The first type “What happened?” “And this is a cheerful tit bird, Which often steals wheat, Which is stored in a dark closet In the house that Jack built.” A person at this level goes with the flow, wasting RESOURCES. More resources - better results. At this level, they simply “poke” thoughtlessly and “haphazardly”, making mistakes and waiting for luck. People of this level do not “work through” anything, do not go to a psychologist, or end up by accident, perceiving him as a “wizard”. They try to quickly get rid of any emotional stress and get the desired object as quickly as possible. Or quickly get rid of the object that is annoying. Any tension gives rise to an instant unconscious reaction: drive out the unwanted, eat more, buy unnecessary things. The second type is “What to do?” “Here is a cat that scares and catches a tit, Which often steals wheat, Which is kept in a dark closet In the house that Jack built.” . A person at this level can change behavior in accordance with more effective patterns. A better sample produces a better use of resources, hence a better result can be obtained. At this level, they learn politeness, go to “pick-up” training or similar women’s training. Emotional tensions are no longer resolved instantly, since there is a pause between the occurrence of tension and the reaction to it, during which a person can choose a method that is more appropriate to the context. Such people use useful habits acquired through training or specifically adopted from others. They accumulate cultural patterns, skills and collect behavior patterns. The third type “Why?” “Here is a dog without a tail, who pulls a cat by the collar, who scares and catches a tit, who often steals wheat, which is kept in a dark closet in the house he built Jack". A person at this level of awareness understands why something happens. Best choice "Why?" gives him the opportunity to better choose from the “How?”, obtaining an even better result. This is the mental level. At this level, they study the “5 love languages”, typologies, “Orders of love”, the principles of the occurrence of trauma and other scientific, popular science and simply popular ways of understanding. They believe that the most recent book they read is the most accurate. People "Why?" select suitable operating concepts. They try to use reliable knowledge about consciousness, culture, and the surrounding world. The fourth type is “Why?” “And this is a hornless cow that kicked an old dog without a tail, Which pulls a cat by the collar, Which scares and catches a tit, Which often steals wheat, Which kept in a dark closet in the house that Jack built.” A person at this level is aware of his motivation. Based on a higher motive, he can choose the best “Why?”, Further down the list he will receive the most effective “How?” So what?" This is the causal level. Such a person already understands what motivates him and tries to take risks with a choice of higher motivation. For example, a person driven by fear is more limited in resources than a person driven by profit, interest or concern for people. People "Why?" realize their “pure” desires. They consider emotional and energetic tensions and interests of various parties in the space of their experience. They accept responsibility for interpreting the experience. In total, we have priority of motivation over understanding, methods and resources. That is, “Why?” determines the chosen meanings (“Why?”), methods (“How?”) and resources (“What?”). In my work, I am faced with the need to work at all four levels of awareness. For example, when working with food addictions at the level “ What?" I clarify the context of the situation, the role of the process of eating in a person’s life, the impact of excess or lack of weight on relationships with others, cultural and family aspects of the relationship to food and food rituals. I identify significant points relating to the physical body in the past, present and projected future. The effect of therapy is articulated by the client as “worked” or “didn’t work”, since the person ...»