I think that many people in relationships have encountered the following phenomenon. You start dating a person (let’s take a traditional relationship between a man and a woman), at first everything is fine, everything suits you, and if you’re not very happy with it, then these are such cool little things. And then more and more complaints appear against your partner, and you gradually develop a desire to change your partner (or your partner desires to change you, although as a rule, this is synchronous). Of course, change him for the better, it will definitely make his life easier. And with this confidence, we rush on the path of changing our partner. And, as a rule, we are faced with such an incomprehensible fact - for some reason the partner does not want to change. He refuses, citing something incomprehensible and incomprehensible. In general, disgrace and disappointment. So what pushes us to change our partner. In short, it is an inconvenience for us. We go into relationships to satisfy our needs, and if you look closely, not a single person can perfectly satisfy them for us, which is often very offensive. After all, we already have experience in this matter; our mother satisfied us ideally in early childhood. And then the one whom you previously loved and idolized - your partner - refuses to do this. There is something to be upset about. And quite reasonably, each of us has a desire to tell our partner the right actions for the so-called harmonization of our relationships. Why so-called - because, as a rule, we are based on our desires. Then what happens, there is no need to change anything, let everything go as it is, let both be on a starvation diet in the relationship? I am sure that something can be done. And this something is based on an agreement. And so, as soon as the partners have mutual claims (and this process is inevitable unless you are both clairvoyant, and even then this is not a guarantee), they need to be voiced, presented, and justified for what is desired. And also, which is important, listen carefully to your partner, find out about his desires and come to an agreement. In general, everything is simple at first glance. However, in real life everything turns out to be much more complicated. Your partner may simply not be aware of his desires, he may turn out to be taciturn, or he may turn out to be rigid in his beliefs - just as I said, etc. In general, serious difficulties may arise in the way of agreements. In such situations, the prognosis is disappointing, either bend under the partner, or break up the relationship. But what to do if you still manage to communicate. How can you change your partner, if in fact it will be easier for him to live with the changes? Yes, it’s quite possible to tell your partner about your thoughts. And I think nothing more. The psyche of an adult has already been formed and any changes for a person are usually painful, so they resist. My opinion is that the best move in this situation is to take care of yourself, for example, go to personal therapy. Why such a seemingly illogical proposal? The fact is that our partner and his advantages and mainly disadvantages are actually our projections on him, this is our view through the prism of our own perception of reality. That is, he is not like this, but we see him like this and even more - we create him like this in our perception. So if we want to change our partner, we change ourselves, and lo and behold, the partner will change too. True, there are no guarantees that it will change exactly as we need it. The only thing guaranteed is that he will change. And then you will react to what happens and choose what to do in the future. This is such an uncertain prospect. However, in this case, you definitely have a chance to meet a real partner and build a relationship with another person, and not with your projections. The second method is doomed, since, as a rule, it leads to severe disappointments. So, enjoy your self-knowledge and discovery of the person who is next to you. As a rule, this process is much more exciting than the coolest thriller.