In this chapter we will talk about energy exchange in relationships with the child. This topic is important, and there are some nuances in it that we did not consider when we wrote about the energy exchange between spouses. Firstly, do you think that, in general, the energy exchange between children and parents is fair? In the most average family? There is often an opinion that no, it’s not fair, because parents for children do this, and that, and the fifth, and the tenth, and they, the children, are neither one nor the other, plus they are generally in an unpaid debt to their parents, because they gave them life, but their children cannot do this, and moreover, parents take care of their children even at a time when they cannot do anything at all, neither for themselves nor for others In general, it somehow turns out bleakly... But let’s first separate from this bouquet the very fact of life as a gift and place it within the framework of a larger system than the family system - within the framework of the tribal system. Then a lot of things will fall into place. The fact is that life is a gift that we receive from our parents, but we give forward to our own children. This is how the race grows and develops. And cases when a child tries to repay this debt not forward, but back, are extremely painful and immediately cause some kind of dissonance: no, sorry, something is wrong here. For example, a young, full of energy person is ready to donate to a sick person a parent a kidney or some other organ as needed... It’s already jarring, right? But, let’s say, a situation that often occurs in family constellations: the parents have died, and the son or daughter, unconsciously not recognizing their death, strives, driven by love, no less, to leave in their place. In general, it is obvious that the impossibility of repaying the debt of life to parents and giving it to future generations is a natural state of affairs, but the desire to somehow give it back to the parents themselves is somehow... contrary to nature, or something. And more specifically, the laws of the Family. So, we leave this point aside and move on. Let's say right away: the total conviction of parents that they give their children more than they receive from them is the root of many troubles and at the same time a great temptation, and strength and wisdom are needed to overcome it. Not enough clarity? Let's fix it now. Let's say there is a family in which a child has just been born. And the moment has come for mom when she needs to reorient herself from a “pedestal” life to an ordinary one. She hasn't done it yet. And it is unbearably difficult for her to give the child as much care as he needs. It’s not that it’s too much, it’s just that now it seems to her that it’s backbreaking work. This realization weighs on her like a stone and makes her even more tired. And then this feeling of an unbearable burden can persist for a long time. “How many nights did I not sleep…”, “children are a heavy cross”, “your hands are always tied with children”, etc. In fact, of course, all this overwhelmingness is solely in the head of one of the parents. But a child in such a family grows up with the conviction that he owes his parents an unpaid debt, that they are for him - wow! And he, he... And you probably already guessed where we are going. Yes exactly. This is the very background of manipulation, which we have already written about before. “You owe me, so you will do what I say.” And the casket just opened... But, excuse me, what is this happening? “My child is my slave based on the fact that I am for him... (then the list is ten pages long)”? Somehow it doesn’t seem like a parent, gentlemen and ladies. Moreover, the child makes his contribution to the family, and this contribution is huge. It may be more difficult to notice than the contribution of an adult: here is a man, he earns money and provides for his family, so everyone has a place to live, something to eat and something to wear. Here is a woman, she does her job, takes care of her household, so they have something tasty to eat, something clean and ironed to wear, etc. And the child? What does he give to his parents? Of course, you can’t touch it. This gift has no smell or form... But the gift itself is there. And you can feel it. The child’s contribution to the family is