And what if pain, physical or psychological, is actually... needed? To feel your boundaries more clearly, to take a closer look at your internal structure and life background, in order to be born renewed. Needed to find myself again. Pain is one of the markers that something destructive, destabilizing, something that wants to be noticed is happening on the border with external space. She is like a constantly working guard dog, trained to maintain inner balance by barking loudly at the place where it is disturbed. By whom and for what purpose remains behind the scenes for her and goes to the owner’s conscience, to decide how to further deal with the changes taking place. It is the memory or imagination of future pain that teaches you not to touch the fire, look on both sides of the road, avoid dark alleys and people with certain frightening signs. The more intense and prolonged the pain was in the past, the more clearly it is imprinted in the head, and the more influential it becomes in later life. In a situation where there are enough resources and skills to quickly recognize the source of the violation, restore one’s integrity or change, pain remains simply a friendly sensation with which it is quite possible to live further, using it for its intended purpose: as a platform for better orientation in the situation. Chronic, overwhelming or unresolved pain likes to stay close to consciousness, no matter how hard you try to drive it deeper. It takes a lot of effort to constantly keep a guard dog at a distance from you, and it’s even more difficult not to designate it as your enemy. It rushes about, breaks the chain, demands an audience or at least attention, as soon as the situation shows some similarities with past aching experience. Hypertrophied, stuck on repeat in the memory, pain very easily subjugates all behavior, replacing orientation with avoidance. Avoidance rarely brings with it the same tangible, acutely and momentarily experienced feedback - its impact on life is noticeable only in the long term. At the closest: not experiencing pain now is the best thing you can do for yourself today. While we are small children, pain is something much greater than I. For an adult who has learned to rely on the reality of his feelings and sensations, pain is still the same guard dog inside. There is no need to avoid pain when you know you can survive it. That one day it will end, that it is a small part of life, a small part of you. If you don’t intimidate yourself with the “infinity” and “unbearability” of pain, then you can get closer to it, consider how it works, what it does and what it says. Then the energy looped in restraining an important part of its internal structure will be able to go out to find the right addressee in the external environment. Trusting your pain means regaining your power. Seeing that besides the pain of destruction there is another side - the birth of something new. Then you will remember again that pain is your faithful servant and has never wished you harm. __________________(Photo: Dmitry Pryakhin)