When they say that it is necessary to “be in the moment” they mean two simple rules: Be grateful for what you have here and now - all the difficult paths to fortunately, as they say from the Evil One. And, secondly, do not get attached to what you have, because in this life everything is temporary and not permanent. Agree, there is a limitation in this approach that causes protest. Indeed, we plan, protecting ourselves from fear of the future and satisfy our need for affection by collecting in our lives relationships and objects that represent them that are dear to us. And this is a common normal strategy. Why then did the idea of ​​“living in the moment” arise? The fact is that a person who tries to consciously plan his life and value his affections faces the problem of a life scenario. Each of us carries in our souls this or that trauma, this or that neurosis, which in general can be considered as an unsatisfied desire, or an unclosed gestalt. And the psyche is trying to solve this problem. A person, over and over again, unwittingly creates a situation in his life that is similar to the one that could not be resolved in childhood, when the trauma arose. In order to go through it again, find a solution and close it. But not everyone succeeds, not always and not the first time. And so, constantly coming across a series of failures and disappointments, you can come to the idea of ​​“living in the moment,” assuming that everything will soon go to ruin again, just like the last time and the time before. But there is another way. You can preserve both attachment and the possibility of development if you understand the cause. Find the trauma to which the psyche returns over and over again. To do this you need: 1. Review the history of your life, find repeating events in it that speak about the same thing, just in a different context.2. Return mentally to the most striking event in a series of repeating events. Imagine that it has only just begun to unfold, but has not yet happened. What was its trigger? Trigger? What thought slipped through before feelings about everything that was happening were born in your soul? This thought - about yourself, about the world around you is the key.3. You need to find and write down this thought. Think about its relevance now. How effective are the ideas and behavioral strategies that are associated with it? Is there any additional benefit, a psychological bonus, in this approach to events? And is it possible to obtain it differently?4. And when she manages to figure everything out, come up with a different option for behavior in such a situation that would suit her better and be more effective. Try it out, fortunately there will be similar stories more than once.5. And having made sure that now everything has become different, I can calmly say goodbye to the idea of ​​“living in the moment.” In general, the algorithm is simple, but it also has pitfalls and difficulties that our psyche can throw up. Therefore, if everything becomes difficult, it is best to enlist the help of specialists. If you feel that you are stuck in the “here and now” and want to look at all this from a different angle, I am ready to help with this, your psychologist Zimin Alexander +7(977)391-5430