I didn’t think about it before, but I still came to this. Since last summer, a certain group of people have been coming to work. And what they have in common is that they are adult children of alcoholics. This is an unofficial term. But it speaks so much to us specialists. Since then, I’ve read almost all the books on this topic (I’ll put them together in a separate recommendation), attended Alexandra Teplyakova’s webinar Trauma from childhood - so far that’s all I’ve found. Nowadays the term codependent is common (and not in the same vein as it was originally described ). A family in which one or both parents abuse alcohol is dysfunctional. In such a family, the lack of attention of family members to each other, especially parents to children, is considered the norm; impermanence and unpredictability of family life; denial of reality by family members (presence of family secrets); prohibitions on free expression of one's needs and feelings, emotional repression; rigidity, despotic relationships, etc. The term “codependency” is applied to spouses, children and parents of dependent people. They usually talk about specific characteristics that are inherent in family members of alcoholics; they are formed gradually as a result of codependent relationships: Insufficient self-esteem is inherent in all codependents , all others are based on this trait. A constant (habitual) desire to control the behavior, reactions, and lives of others. Gradually, codependents begin to believe that they are able to control absolutely everything. Saving and helping others becomes a natural desire and the center of life. Codependents take responsibility for others, but are often completely irresponsible with regard to their own well-being, because... this skill is blocked by “more important” Ignoring. They tend to deny problems or pretend that nothing serious is happening. As a result of constant attention to others, there is no opportunity to develop as an individual, there is a refusal of personal growth. “Clouding” of feelings or a complete abandonment of them. This leads to an increase in tolerance to negative emotions. And yet, it is appropriate to mention the consuming feelings of shame and guilt (Ronald T. Potter-Efron notes that these feelings are dominant for codependents). So what about the children in these families? And they are assigned one of five roles: Family Hero, Scapegoat, Lost Child, Talisman, Sick (I plan to write more about these roles in other publications). They came to therapy with requests: I constantly feel hopelessness, I don’t know why I don’t get joy from life; I tried not to be like my parents, but I started drinking; in life I am a dictator and a controller, others consider me a monster, help; I destroy relationships as soon as I see that a man begins to get involved in something on the side (hobby). If you feel problems with emotions, building close relationships, if you are familiar with the topic of this article firsthand and you need support, come to therapy. If you want to sort out your personal situation, sign up via WA, TG +7(988) 563-49-81 (I will respond on the same day to schedule a free first 20-minute acquaintance call.) Text consultation format is also available.