"And this is love?" - this is how the name of my first niche perfume from the incomparable Annick Goutal is translated from French. I bought them by accident, then I worked on Smolnek, near the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. There was this magical little shop called Ile de Beaute near the metro. It is still there, but I think it has been renamed Sefora. It was October 31, and the perfume boutique was celebrating Halloween. All the sales girls had little red horns. On the table there were trays with champagne poured into plastic cups, a pumpkin-shaped cake was cut, and sweets were poured into vases. That was the first time I saw the Serge Lutens brand line. But Serge’s brilliant oriental scents didn’t appeal to me right away. This required preparation, obtaining information, working on proper testing and perception of such a perfume. But the Annick Goutal line captivated me from the first test. Moreover, my eyes widened - which perfume should I buy? It seemed to me that I liked everyone. This was mine - my combinations and favorite ingredients: clary sage, delicate citrus fruits, hay, red currant, then unknown musk, yarrow, mint... wow! The most interesting thing is that the name of the first niche perfume turned out to be just that diagnostic card, at random pulled from the olfactory deck. Surprisingly, it was she who accurately described my relationships with men, which began and ended during that period and after. In fact, you can “guess” from perfume. They, like any metaphorical image - in this case, olfactory, bear the imprint of your subconscious aspirations. An instinctive and not surprising right choice that most fully describes you at a given time period. And relationships, as I can observe now in consultations, for many also represent the eternal question: “Is this love? This is definitely the one they sing about in songs, write poems and books, make films?” Involuntarily it comes to mind: “If only you knew from what kind of rubbish poetry grows, knowing no shame, like a yellow dandelion by the fence, like burdocks and quinoa.” The image of a dandelion and weeds herbs - also carries a message from under the fence, in this case - about the importance of spontaneity in life and creativity. As Anna Akhmatova says: “I have no need for odic battles and the charm of elegiac undertakings. For me, in poetry everything should be out of place, not like people’s.” So for us, so often the wrong seems to be that in our relationships there is no everything is like with people: not smooth, not sedate, not built according to the classic scheme of an ideal partnership of “workers on relationships.” But relationships are not a plant or a factory, or even a polished office. There, it most often happens that no matter how much time and effort you put into building a beautiful and correct scheme, your house on the sand can collapse from one sideways glance from someone’s wolfish green eyes. Or from an out of place thrown word from your seemingly beloved one. But this word will break like a million drops over the patience that you yourself unconsciously tried to maintain with meaningless expectations of a shared gingerbread house, postcard children and a sacramental glass of water served by a man, before How can you leave amicably on the same day. But that doesn’t happen! And again I remember: “It shouldn’t be this way, but again I catch your gaze, and I understand that all this is stupid and strange...” And no matter how much the whole world reproaches you, especially in the person of your ex, that you are a worthless, flighty person - It is impossible to resist this inner animal call: “I will not call you neither joy nor love. They replaced my blood with wild, alien blood.” Yes, this happens, and all the time. It is useless to look for the norm or its violation. Hearing from your partner that “you are you, and I am me,” nod, yawn and agree. And jump up from sleep as soon as someone appears on the horizon, without whom it is no longer possible to exist even according to the formula “I = I,” because now you are exactly equal to him. Dependence, dissolution, the drug of love? But who can say what is actually better: working hard every day?"