It would seem a harmless situation: a child asks you to help with homework, and now you are already bending over a textbook together in order to give a hint or indicate the “correct train of thought” to your diligent (or not so much?) to a schoolboy. But after just a few minutes you begin to boil and see in the reflection of the children’s eyes a fire-breathing dragon, ready to sweep away all living things in its path? “How many times can you explain the same thing?” “You really don’t understand, or are you kidding me?” “Why is it so difficult for you to turn on your head and think?” Such thoughts begin to literally burn a hole in your head - they are so charged with aggressive energy. It seems that sparks will soon fly! But in fact, you are experiencing the same thing as most parents who are forced to sit down again at the school notebook. There are a great many recommendations on what a parent should do in such a situation. The right to make mistakes must be restored to the student (this is true) , try to remain calm and be in the position of an observer (this is already more difficult), clarify which part of the task causes the greatest difficulties, try to support the child, and so on. In this post I would like to talk specifically about anger, which clouds consciousness and threatens destructively break out. In my opinion, in such a situation it is extremely important to shift the focus of attention and ask yourself: “what is this anger about?” Maybe I’m afraid that if the child does not cope with the task, then I will feel guilty and I will have to admit that Am I a bad parent? But I do everything necessary to raise him. So he is to blame! Or is my behavior simply a reproduction of the reaction of my own parents when, as a child, I could not solve a complex problem? Could it be that I am now acting “by inertia”, doing the same thing as they did to me? What if I am now very upset, because the expectations placed on my child turned out to be false, and he is unlikely to become the new Elon Musk (and I still won’t drive a Tesla in my old age)? What if I envy my child, because he can sabotage what is not interesting to him? Unlike me - boring projects at work, paying bills and other responsibilities of which do not depend on desire fulfill them? Answers to such questions are not always pleasant, but they can shed light on the true causes of anger. After all, what does not excite us never causes such strong emotions, which means we are dealing with something valuable and worthy to analyze this.