Gestalt approach - the art of being yourself Natalya Olifirovich, Boris Drobyshevsky Do you need psychotherapy? Have you ever sought psychological help? Do you think that those who resort to the services of a psychologist are normal people? If you answered “yes” to at least one question, this article is for you. If you answered “no” to all the questions, perhaps after reading it you will change your mind. Back in the early 90s, the profession of psychologist and psychotherapist in our country, and throughout the Soviet and post-Soviet space at that time, was associated with the word “psycho” . If a person had troubles, then the arsenal for “fighting” them was small: complain to friends, drink vodka, wine, valerian, cry into a pillow or swallow a harsh man’s tear. Going to a psychologist or psychotherapist was equivalent to recognizing oneself as a sick person. However, after the opening of the Iron Curtain, it turned out that all over the world people think differently. A number of foreign films - “The Lord of the Tides”, the series “Nikita”, “Analyze This”, “The Color of Night”, “The Sixth Sense”, etc. - both in a humorous form and seriously demonstrated that psychotherapy is not a luxury, but as commonplace as going to the dentist. Yes, going to the dentist is unpleasant - but no one tears or drills their own teeth. But some people find it very difficult to admit to others and to themselves that they need professional psychological help. Lena is a 30-year-old woman, an employee of a commercial company, who earns good money. She is divorced and lives with her child. The same scenario repeats itself in Lena’s life: she meets a man, their relationship seems ideal for several months, and then they part with scandals forever. After another breakup, Lena complains to her friends about men. Friends sympathize and understand. Only one of them once told Lena that it was time to think about it: why do she meet only such men on her life’s path? She advised Lena to see a psychologist. Lena got angry at her friend: “I feel bad enough, and you also want to make me guilty?” We had a fight...Every person is not immune from negative life events and experiences. Everyone has failures at work, problems in their personal lives, difficulties in relationships with loved ones. It’s good if in such situations there is a person nearby who can understand and support with a kind word. Most often, our loved ones and friends act as these people. Together we worry, look for ways out of difficult situations, and rejoice together. But it also happens: a person wants to change his life, but does not understand how to do it. Friendly support in this case will help you get through another breakup, but it is unlikely to build a new one that is different from previous relationships... In such cases, it is better to seek professional psychological help. Today, there are many schools and directions on the psychological services market, each which has its own idea of ​​a person’s mental world, has a certain set of methods for providing psychological assistance. The famous Russian scientist, President of the National Federation of Psychoanalysis, Professor M.M. Reshetnikov lists six recognized schools and methods of psychotherapy: methods of suggestion; psychoanalysis; rational psychotherapy; behaviorism; Gestalt therapy and integrative psychotherapy. He writes that “everything else is techniques, not methods.” It is within the framework of the above schools that there are clear and clear criteria for the training of specialists, requirements for a theoretical basis and practical training, as well as ethical standards observed by members of the community. As Gestalt therapists, we know best about the features of the Gestalt approach. Translated from German, the word “gestalten” means “to put into shape, to give a meaningful structure.” Emerging in the mid-50s of the twentieth century, the Gestalt approach, thanks to the energy of its founding father Frederick Perls and his followers, became a holistic approach aimed at finding and developing humanresources to support personal capabilities. Nowadays, the Gestalt approach is used in the widest contexts and for a variety of purposes: in individual counseling, family psychotherapy, group psychotherapy and in personal growth groups, in business training; in institutions (schools, universities, territorial social assistance centers). The concept of “finishing a gestalt,” which means “finishing an unfinished business,” has become widely accepted in everyday language. Let’s try to briefly outline the basic principles of the gestalt approach.1. The Gestalt approach (or “Gestalt therapy”) is based on the idea of ​​a holistic perception of a person. In contrast to the medical approach, where there is a doctor “for the ear”, “for the throat” and “from the head”, the Gestalt approach is based on ideas about the relationship and mutual influence of our emotions, thoughts and behavior. Anna Pavlovna, 49 years old, sought medical attention help. Lately my blood pressure has started to go through the roof. The doctor listened carefully, prescribed pills, and mysteriously said: “You should see a psychologist - it’s not too late...” Anna Pavlovna called her friends, found a specialist, but was very disappointed: he did not help right away, but suggested meeting twice a week. The woman decided to try. Within the first month, she understood how her worries affected the condition of her blood vessels, learned to say “no” to her daughter, who overloaded her with household responsibilities, and lost three kilograms. How??? Anna Pavlovna doesn’t understand - after all, they were “just talking” with a psychologist...2. A person does not live in isolation, he is in a certain environment, and it is at the border of contact with this environment that mutual exchange and mutual influence occur. Our life is inextricably woven into our environment and depends on it just as much as the environment depends on us. Therefore, attempts to change one thing without taking into account all other factors are reminiscent of plugging your fingers into a leaky barrel filled with water - you keep it in one place, it flows in another.3. The description of “WHAT” and “HOW” takes precedence over the explanation of “WHY”. Before trying to change anything in life, you must first understand HOW a person lives, HOW he relates to various life events, HOW he communicates, HOW he rejoices, HOW he gets angry and offended. Understanding is possible through awareness or paying attention to the actual life experience in the “here and now” situation. For example, now, as you read this article, pay attention to HOW you are doing this? What do you hear around? What are you thinking about? What feelings do you have? Does this sound like "I'm interested"? Or, rather, “what did these authors imagine, I am my own best psychologist?” With the help of this simple example, you drew attention to those actions that you previously did automatically. Now you know HOW you do it. In a similar way, we live without noticing HOW we relate to what is happening, WHAT influence people and events have on us, WHAT we want at one time or another, WHO we are. Ignoring one’s life experience leads to the fact that a person can constantly find himself in the same unpleasant situations, experience the same emotions, dream of changes in his life, but at the same time “step on the same rake” again. Often we strive to find the cause of troubles. However, knowing the reason often does not help, but, on the contrary, aggravates the problem. Irina found out that her husband cheated on her. She started looking for a reason - and found at least a dozen. And she doesn’t look right, and the housewife is not ideal, and the deceased grandmother said - your man will be walking around, he’s too interesting... Guilt - shame - unwillingness to live - depression... I decided to follow my grandmothers, I heard versions about homewreckers - it didn’t help. Without much hope, I turned to a psychotherapist. She came - beaten down, silent, scared... And she realized that what was more important was not “why”, but “what is happening now.” We found out that Irina loves her husband and values ​​the relationship, but at the same time, the most important thing for their continuation was the opportunity to “tell him everything” about her resentment and anger, which Irina simply did not realize, having fallen into the web of common proverbs “from