The illustration to the article probably causes mixed feelings, because many people have encountered something similar. For example, a mother poured a bowl of soup on her head when her daughter didn’t want to eat. Or dad would hit his son with a belt for some minor offenses. At the same time, parents, if asked directly about these events, are often inclined to deny everything that happened, attributing it to the child’s supposedly wild imagination. Practice shows that despite the fact that sometimes children distort their perception of certain actions on the part of their parents (“you didn’t love me - you forced me to eat semolina”), it very rarely happens that such specific facts are invented. It usually happens the other way around, when a parent, trying to protect the image of himself in his own eyes, denies the negative actions that have taken place towards the child - “you’re lying all the time,” “this didn’t happen,” “you’re making it up again,” etc. ... Why is this happening? Unfortunately (or fortunately), people become parents just like that, of their own free will (and sometimes without), due to a certain well-known coincidence of circumstances. And they are not always morally, physically, financially and psychologically ready. And all these “unpreparednesses,” as well as their own pain points, traumas, experiences, and sometimes natural life events, affect children. However, there are cases when the child’s character is seriously distorted, and one or both parents have sociopathic traits - in this case, living with such parents can cause serious trauma to the child. How does it work? Using our illustration as an example. On the one hand, children absorb everything, and carelessly spoken words can be remembered. On the other hand, parents are not ideal - they are living people, for whom the birth and raising of a child in itself is something wonderful and close to working in a mine and a personal feat (sometimes). After all, the psyche of children is surprisingly plastic. In themselves, such words or individual actions are not traumatic. For example, an announcement about a possible placement in an orphanage or a slap on the bottom does not always cause an “irreparable mental wound.” Against the background of strong and warm relationships, it is simply forgotten and smoothed out. But when the context of a relationship is far from love, security and stability, then individual words and actions against the background of the existing atmosphere can leave their negative mark. This article was not written to be a drop in such a direction of popular psychology as “the parents are to blame for everything.” In most cases, parents do not wish harm to their children and do everything possible for them. But it also happens very differently, and this is not about finding the guilty, but about the opportunity to sort it out and separate the wheat from the chaff, to regain yourself. Or when the overall family atmosphere is favorable, but some nuance in the soul hurts and prevents you from moving on. What to do? Some people find it more convenient to analyze their life themselves. But sometimes this is not enough, and a professional is needed. If you feel this way, don't hesitate to ask for help..