I would like to touch on the topic of choice and limitations. Every person faces a choice: how to live, how to react, what to do or not do. And there are restrictions. In my opinion, the trouble is that sometimes a person “does not see” the opportunities that are hidden behind closed “doors”. It seems that this is from the realm of fantasy, nothing will work out, I’m a loser, etc. Until you try, you probably won’t know? Resistance may arise if someone points out something new that the person has not previously noticed. This often happens with clients during consultations with a psychologist. The specialist examines the problem from different angles and highlights the client’s “blind spots.” This greatly expands consciousness and affects a person’s picture of the world. There is always a choice: - Stay in an unsatisfying relationship or not; - Move to another city or not; - Change a low-paying job for a higher-paid one; - Stay in the position of a victim or leave it... What can hinder the implementation of a choice: - Low self-esteem; - Self-doubt; - Externally imposed desire. In fact, you don’t want to change anything, but a significant person “pushes” your personal boundaries or public opinion “commands” you to be like everyone else and not stick your head out; - Secondary benefit. For some reason, it is beneficial for you to leave everything as it is. Often this is an unconscious phenomenon; - Psychological trauma. Which does not allow you to move from your place, to open up new opportunities. An emotional fixation on the traumatic material occurred when part of the personality became separated and “stuck” in its development. A lot of psychic energy flows there in order to complete the given situation and react to painful emotions. Working through psychological trauma (and everyone has them, to one degree or another) helps to qualitatively improve life. Finally, grow up for real, and not just according to your passport. If you feel that you yourself are “not taking it out”, you want to change something in your life, but something is missing or there is an obstacle... then there are always specialists in helping professions who will find the key to solving your problem. © psychologist Valeria Karmanova, 2022.