Well, where else to start the new year if not with the topic of sex? I just happened to be having dinner in the company of colleagues, and the conversation turned to the fact that today’s youth have completely deteriorated, so much so that doesn't want to have sex. The experienced professor shared her complete lack of understanding of how to treat young patients who say that they are not at all interested in sex life, because clearly something is wrong, but beyond the obvious disorders, such as depression, it is difficult to understand the clinical meaning of asexuality. In response, younger and, as a result, progressive psychologists pointed out that this is a variant of the norm, they say, everyone arranges their intimate life the way they want, the main thing is that it does not interfere with others. The conversation did not come to anything meaningful, and it’s understandable Why. Sexuality, one way or another, remains a topic, although less taboo, but still very sensitive. People have just begun to get used to the fact that deviating from standard forms of realizing their sexual impulses (and even talking openly about it) is not only the lot of marginalized people and some perverts, but is quite the norm. Because of this, any attempt to question the functionality of an individual's sex life is perceived as pathologizing his choices. Roughly speaking, I do what I want in bed (or don’t do it), and leave me alone, there’s nothing to ask about it. On the other hand, with this approach, sexuality turns into some kind of sacred cow. It turns out that all aspects of a person’s life are somehow connected with each other, and in order to work effectively with this person, a psychologist has to touch on different aspects of life: work, family relationships, childhood experiences, physical health, hobbies, whatever. ; but at the same time, sexuality remains a kind of absolute - it is as it is and should be as it is, because it is his, the person’s, choice. Moreover, this story only works in one direction. The client cannot be moved towards the “generally accepted norm”, but back - for God’s sake, then this will be called “liberate” or “return to oneself”. Therefore, we can talk about latent homosexuality, but not latent heterosexuality, although strictly speaking, nothing prevents one from moving to the opposite camp under the influence of internal conflicts or traumas, and not because of one’s own natural preferences, for example, when a woman, after experiencing violence, cannot build relationships with men. Sensitivity to a topic often prevents you from looking at it more objectively. If a psychologist suspects a client’s sexuality is a symptom of some more general problems, this may be perceived with hostility as an attempt to apply conversion therapy, so to speak. As if now he, the client, will be forcibly imposed on “normal” sexual behavior. In fact, one does not yet flow from the other, and here it is enough to look at other areas of life. For example, if a person has a low appetite, then it does not matter whether this is the norm for him, and he simply eats little, or whether this is a symptom of some diseases, it’s all the same - there’s no need to force food into him, it won’t help him in any way, but will only make it worse. There is a second step - even if the pathology of this process is confirmed, for example, a person is diagnosed with gastritis, then no one has the right to oblige him to undergo treatment or go on a diet against his will. As long as there is no danger to the person himself or third parties. In fact, when moving to the topic of sex, nothing changes - a person’s intimate life can change under the influence of psychological and somatic problems, but only he has the right to decide whether he will do something about it or not. It is also useful for psychologists to remember this. Even if the client clearly arranges his sex life around some traumatic event - yes, for God's sake. It’s good if this becomes a subject of discussion, but the goal should not be to return a person “to the fold of the church.” Then, when the prospect of attempts at forced healing is not looming on the horizon, it will be easier to calmly discuss.