Psychologist, psychotherapist and neuropsychologist Valentina Mukhanova-Biryukova explains about discreteness, the image of her daughter and the fear of repeating the life scenario of her own loved one. Often on the threshold of therapy I hear the phrase: “I don’t want to repeat the fate of my mother, I don’t want to be I look like her, I’m different.” The woman is so afraid of repeating her mother’s path that she herself does not realize that she is even more like her than she realizes. But if this is so, then what is the reason for rejection? Discreteness? Unsuccessful personal life? Image of a daughter The image of daughters who reject their mother can vary, since it directly depends on many factors influencing the behavioral strategy and choice of life scenario. This includes the type of nervous system, behavioral reactions, upbringing, levels of trauma, genetic diseases or their absence, levels of social status and much more. But there are 2 most common types of daughters: “mother’s partners/allies” and “masculine type/warrior”. Let's take a closer look: Mom's partners/allies. Don't let this interpretation confuse you. In this context, she is not talking about anything healthy. So, the daughter, who grew up only in the indicative field of her mother, did not receive another role behavioral strategy (father), since the mother could take either a leading role over her husband, or he was not there at all, and she acted out “both for herself and for him.” guy." The mother can adopt masculine behavior, psychologically subordinating everyone who is dependent on her. But in the head of a daughter who is not physically and mentally strong, the image may form: “Mom is right, she is always right, there is something wrong with me.” Subsequently, the daughter is not able to be happy in relationships, motherhood, career and unconsciously takes the side of her mother, to whom she should be admired and grateful. But for some reason it doesn't work. But she also drags everyone and saves them, and until she finally saves everyone, she cannot be happy herself. And one day in her hearts she says: “I hate it, I don’t want anything.” Masculine type/warrior. The daughter takes the role of a caring parent, where role responsibilities completely change and any attempts at separation about the mother’s restlessness are broken. Clients themselves often describe such relationships with their mothers, citing the example of a “suitcase without a handle”: it’s hard to carry, and it’s no longer necessary to carry it with you. Such mothers literally watch the series of the life of their warrior daughter, where the daughter herself must keep up to date with events. It is also necessary to take care of her and her life, since she (the mother) herself cannot, she is scared, lonely, no one needs her, has nothing to do, and so on. Such a daughter grew up as a rescuer of her mother, often deprived of her attention, since she was stronger and smarter than she (mother), father or brothers, sisters and all combined. In this pattern, the daughter will always feel "used" and the mother will never be comforted and never have enough. Such a daughter will avoid marriage and childbearing as much as possible, since psychologically she herself is still a child, and she no longer has the strength to care for anyone else. In both the first and second cases, the daughter is deprived of the opportunity to approach the importance of her father, which means she will be deprived of two supports, two opinions on the situation, role meanings and responsibility. Separation will not happen, and in the minds of such a daughter in the future, a man is an enemy who brings pain and suffering, and she will look for only love in him, moreover, paternal love, and only if she dares to break the coalition with her mother. It is important to note that these 2 types of image of a daughter can be mixed types at different periods of life, and can also change in the same person. That is why everyone’s story is a unique story, it is her personal behavioral code, and requires an individual approach. Copy-paste of the script A girl growing up without a father (or he had a nominal one) is completely absorbed in the psychological field of her mother, her problems, relationships. From the outside it may even seem that neither the grandmother nor her daughter needs men, they have enough problems of their own, and they themselves know how to do it. And big