What should you do if your impulsiveness is harming your family relationships? I am ready to applaud the person who asks himself such a question. What a difficult path you have to go through to realize that aggressiveness is something worth dealing with in yourself! Just in order to continue to respect oneself and not kill relationships in the family. Countless suffering is caused to a person by the persistent conviction that he must always be right! In the dilemma “Be right or be happy,” such a person at first willingly makes a choice in the direction of “being right” He swoops in, cuts from the shoulder, urgently “corrects the situation” and “eliminates the threat.” And he does this “without understanding the road” and “regardless of the faces”! And this road is the path to family happiness, and the faces belong to loved ones with whom they planned a long and happy life! The trouble is that at the same time he is not on the field battle and does not protect the Motherland from enemies, but tries to keep his sick self-esteem from complete collapse in his own eyes! What to do if you suddenly caught yourself thinking that such a line of behavior does not lead to the goal: mutual love and tenderness, respect and acceptance ?For starters, congratulate yourself on a new stage of growing up! A conscious problem becomes a logical problem and becomes available for resolution. One of the important elements of awareness is accepting the fact that in difficult situations you choose an aggressive path to solving problems. Briefly about the theory: there is three types of behavior in a situation of social interaction - confident, insecure and aggressive. Aggressive behavior often becomes a bad habit, it provides a quick release of tension and creates the illusion of quickly achieving a result. But there is an important logical trap: it seems like you quickly insisted on your own, a mini-result received: the enemy has surrendered. It would seem, triumph! But a new problem arises: the relationship is deteriorating! After all, the most important thing in communicating with loved ones is to be unconditionally accepted, considered one of our own, loved and cherished. And aggression takes us away from this goal by leaps and bounds! There is a delayed effect of a quick victory: they stop loving us. And we suffer: how can this be, because I just wanted to always be right! Why don’t they like me? We forget that there is no such thing as 100 percent rightness. We don’t like ourselves to be wrong, but we easily declare others to be wrong. And we don’t understand that they don’t like it either!!! There is another important consideration here: if a person does not accept himself, does not give himself a calm, legal right to make a mistake, then he denies this right to others! A judge is not allowed to make mistakes !He curses himself and does not give others any concessions. In general, he loves them as he loves himself! Sick, flawed love, filled with rejection and eternal criticism. Uncertainty is the sister of aggressiveness. Both strategies do not lead to cooperation and mutual respect, both give rise to disappointment. An aggressive person is an extremely insecure person who does not have the skills of assertive (confident) behavior and effective communication, and, in addition, is significantly more traumatized than even an insecure person. Aggression is always “self-defense”! But this defense, as a rule, is aimed at combating imaginary threats! The fear of experiencing fear is what pushes a person to be rude and cruel to those closest to him! Of course, the profile of the disorder is individual for everyone . But at the core – trauma and panic! If you notice that you are aggressive for no apparent reason, disturbing the peace in the family, consulting a psychologist will help you! Working through traumas will help you not to panic not only from other people’s actions, but also from your own nervous predictions about possible troubles. Let’s remember the main goal: we want to be loved and happy! Welcome to the path of confidence and peace! If you liked the article, I will be glad to see you like it. I invite you to a free trial 20-minute meeting on issues of temper and aggressiveness: +7-904-005-32-10