If a stranger unexpectedly leans on me on the subway during rush hour, I will assume that he has lost his balance and will now come to his senses. After pausing, I will give him the opportunity to find his footing. If I understand that he chose me as his support, and this, of course, makes me uncomfortable, I will reprimand him. Let's assume he ignores it. Most likely, such shamelessness will anger me, and I will push him away in anger and, perhaps, reward him with a nice word. Or I’ll just step aside to avoid conflict. But one way or another, I will be angry with him, and I will have to somehow cope with my anger. I doubt that starting a fight is the best way out of a situation, because a stranger may turn out to be a Greco-Roman wrestling champion...Open expression of anger is socially frowned upon. In many families there is an unspoken ban on any manifestations of anger. But if you think about it, anger is a basic emotion that signals dissatisfaction or violation of personal boundaries. If we remember that we all come from childhood, then we most likely learned how to deal with anger there - in the parental family. Imagine that a mother had to go away on business, leaving her baby in the care of a nanny, and be absent for several longer than usual. Upon the mother’s return, the child throws a tantrum over a trifle, and she wonders what happened to her baby. But most likely the baby is sending his mother a message: “I’m angry at you for leaving me for so long.” He needs to express his dissatisfaction, and his mother needs to listen and accept his anger - agree with him. Now let’s assume that the mother, not realizing the reasons for the baby’s behavior, scolds or shames him for an unexpected whim. The episode is repeated, and over time, such interaction between mother and child becomes a habit. To avoid the unpleasant feeling of guilt for his anger, the child may direct his dissatisfaction towards himself, for example, as he gets older, he will begin to bite his nails or express his anger to his mother in the form of bedwetting. The psyche of each person adapts in its own way to the feeling of anger, forms mechanisms and defenses for dealing with it. And we can help her with this. On the one hand, if anger is not expressed, then it will settle inside as a heavy burden, and will probably manifest itself as back pain, muscle tension or other physical ailments. And perhaps it will find expression in strange obsessive habits or increased anxiety. But on the other hand, if in a fit of anger you destroy furniture to the accompaniment of a recitative filled with profanity, then you can get into trouble or completely ruin your relationships with others, which is what some antisocial personalities have become famous for. So what to do? Talk and talk again about your feelings, “without leaving the cash register”! Calmly, observing decency and subordination, if the situation requires it, inform the offender about how you feel and what it is connected with. The answer may vary, but the main thing is that the offender will receive adequate feedback! At best, he admits that he was wrong. Justice will be restored and your anger will subside. And at other times, the offender may continue to provoke you into aggressive feelings, because perhaps throwing you off balance is his immediate goal. Then it's better to retreat. Psychological warfare consumes precious energy and time. Suppose you have retreated and perhaps feel dissatisfied and most likely still angry. At this moment, you should listen to yourself in an attempt to understand what you want now. If you feel the impulse to tell the offender everything you think, then take a pen and paper and write him a letter. Don’t be shy in your expressions, show your imagination. If you like to draw, then draw your offender or how you want to punish him. Set the letter aside and look at it in 24 hours to see if you have anything to add. I am sure you will not want to send it, because when writing, all the “steam” will come out and free your mind for more noble and interesting things. Another good way.