From the author: Other articles: Believe in the child. At my webinar on the topic “How to raise these new children,” one mother asked the following question: how best to determine the inclinations of a child that contribute to future career guidance at 12 years old? I had to give a detailed explanation on the topic: “Respect the flow of Life, dear parents!.. "The idea of ​​a person as an easily programmable device is greatly exaggerated! And each of you knows this! .. The point is not that parents often impose THEIR choices on their children, but that a true calling, that sphere of activity that really coincides with a person’s potential, simply cannot be revealed prematurely, until such time as this potential - not accumulated!.. A growing person needs to accumulate some life experience, go through some lessons, before the abilities inherent in him for a certain activity can manifest themselves effectively!.. Parents often turn to me with the following words: “Who will grow out of him?.. He he’s not interested in anything!.. He doesn’t want to go to any clubs!..” - etc. Accordingly, in the family such a child receives an attitude towards himself as a slacker and a loser. Dear parents! Remember yourself, your classmates - as a rule, loafers and hooligans do what they like in adult life and at the same time succeed. And diligent children who followed the advice of adults often feel deceived when they grow up: the efforts and the result, the efforts and the feeling of satisfaction from the resulting life turn out to be too disparate. Why? Because a person is only in appearance a product of the “upbringing environment.” In fact, each of us, like a cupronickel spoon in an electrolyte solution, attracts and accumulates unique experiences from the environment, unique only to his life program. And it is these experiences that determine our future life, and not the events themselves in which we participated. One child, after performing at a concert at a music school, added to his spiritual piggy bank the feeling of joyful excitement from going out in public, and another - no less musically capable - forever remembered their cold hands and trembling knees... A spontaneous fight at school prompted one child to become a karate champion, and another to become a “six” with a local authority... One, looking at a wounded kitten, faints from the sight of blood, another becomes a veterinarian. I recently read a biographical sketch about a man who became the conscience of an entire era for several generations of Soviet people. It turned out that as a teenager he was not only a poor student, but was practically uncontrollable. The boy’s parents were repressed, he grew up with his grandmother, and in his own words, at the age of 14, his “role model” was “a Moscow-Arbat swindler, a criminal. Accordion boots, a vest, a jacket, a cap, a fringe and a golden hair fix” (doesn’t remind you of modern teenage idols: rock musicians in piercings and tattoos?) However, it was from this boy that a poet grew up, who wrote, among others, the well-known heartfelt lines: I’ll bury a grape seed in the warm earth, And I’ll kiss the vine, And I’ll pick ripe grapes, And I’ll call friends, I’ll set my heart to love. Otherwise, why do I live on this eternal earth? (For those who don’t know, I’ll name the author: Bulat Okudzhava) Observing children of different ages, asking adults about what they remember about themselves in childhood, studying the biographies of famous people, I came to the following conclusion: People come into this world holding their Soul on a string, like a balloon. And in certain periods of life, a certain part of this mental baggage is “loaded”, often without external influences, but often after some insignificant impression for other people. RR - and a person suddenly sees the world, himself, his plans differently... And those children whose parents did NOT INTERFERE with them with their fears and expectations quickly mastered the New Part of themselves and began to live in a new way. And those who were looked after or trained missed the moment of placing the next portion in themselves!..