Friends, hello everyone! Today I would like to tell you about abuse, what it is, how to understand that your partner is an abuser and what to do about it. Abuse in English means cruel treatment, insult, violence. It can be of a psychological, physiological or sexual nature. If there are no particular questions with the physiological and sexual aspect: here, abuse means infliction of bodily harm or forced sex, rape. What is psychological abuse? How does it manifest itself and why is it dangerous? Psychological abuse is a moral humiliation that manifests itself in insults, threats, pressure and mistrust on the part of your partner, and it can be both open and hidden. That is, your partner can humiliate you in public, openly, or only in private, at home. Moreover, hidden abuse is even more dangerous, as it puts you into even more dependent behavior - in public, your partner can admire you, set you as an example and be proud, which makes you feel unique or of some kind of need and usefulness. So, how does an abuser behave? towards your partner? It makes him feel worthless, dependent, incapable, inferior, weak or unwanted. For example, he may say the following phrases: “Who needs you besides me?”, “only I can tolerate you, you’re unbearable,” “you’re always ruining everything, how stupid/stupid you are,” “why have you gained weight, who will he look at you like this? Only I love you as you are.” I give an example of abuse by a man because it is more common, but a woman can also be an abuser. What do we see here? The abuser acts as our savior, he is our hero, only thanks to him I am not alone! I, in turn, am terrible, who would look at me like this, I am generally unworthy of love from anyone and should be grateful that he is with me. The abuser is trying in this way to raise his self-esteem, his importance. If outwardly he shows us how noble, good, and a straight superhero he is, then inside he doesn’t feel it, he feels insignificant, weak, downtrodden. Most often they feel this because they grew up in oppressive families. If the mother or father showed abuse towards the child, or the abuse was between parents, then there is a high probability that the child will grow up to be an abuser. What other signs can tell us that we are facing an abuser? Most often these are emotional people, they cannot control themselves, there is demonstrativeness in them, they like to fluff their tails in front of other people. Quite often these are aggressive people, it’s better not to get into trouble with them, as soon as they attack. Further, these are often liars, and such pathological liars, they don’t even they notice how they begin to invent stories in front of the company in order to seem more interesting, more successful, smarter than they are, these are quite superficial people, they do not go into the depths of knowledge, all their interests, everything lies on the surface, where they do not need to make any special efforts. So , if we know that a person had oppressive parents and has the character traits listed earlier, we are most likely an abuser. What signs of abuse can be identified in a relationship? Firstly, it is jealousy. All-consuming and baseless. And not only towards the opposite sex, it can be jealousy towards friends, parents, colleagues. It doesn't matter who you spend time with, what matters is that it's not with them. You must completely devote yourself only to him, be only with him, or wait for him. If you have your own affairs and your own interests, then you don’t need him, the abuser cannot accept this. You must be completely and completely devoted only to him. The second sign is total control. He or she knows all your passwords, there may be a tracking program on your phone, the abuser must constantly know where you are, who you are with, what you are doing, with whom and what you were communicating with. He feels a constant threat that he could lose you and!