We often think that someone or something should make us happy. Psychotherapist, wife, husband, lover, mistress, that aunt who bakes buns in the bakery across the street, that “seller of happiness” who promises miracles. Well, or some events: if I find a relationship, it will get better, I will move to another country, it will get better, I will change my business, it will get better, I will find a new wife, it will get better, or if the old one changes, it will get better. But nothing! If now there is no happiness or state of satisfaction within you, then it will not exist under any circumstances. It's an illusion. Because in reality, excuse the frankness, you simply do not know how to experience happiness and experience a state of contentment. Scary? Not scary, because there is a way out. And first of all, it’s working on yourself. No one will do your inner work for you, for example, to find yourself, your place in life, to develop your personality, to separate from parental figures, and so on. Yes, a psychotherapist can accompany you on this path and illuminate the path to yourself. But what a psychotherapist cannot do is do your inner work for you. And no one can. And if someone promises you something like that, believe me, he is lying (maybe without even knowing it). He may genuinely want to help you, but he is doing you a disservice. He gives you "fish" instead of teaching you how to "fish." And this “fish” will satisfy your hunger only for a short moment. Afterwards, you will feel unhappy again. The process of finding happiness within yourself is always accompanied by difficult experiences - suffering, despair, pain in some periods, but it always leads to the acquisition of a new “skill” - the ability to live your own life. And believe me, having gone through this path, you will be grateful to yourself. Yes, first of all, YOURSELF, because YOU are great, YOU went through resistance, YOU went through torment and despair. And you coped with it. Well, yes, secondly, you will be grateful to the person who accompanied you along this path. But the first gratitude will be more important for you - to yourself. Because now you have no idea how much kindness, love and care you can give to yourself! And yes, there will be no external indicator that you have learned to be happy. Only internal. This is about a different taste for life, this is about a different experience of yourself, this is about a different quality of life, an order of magnitude higher than now. Therefore, do not expect a miracle, become your own miracle!