If we do not take into account global tragedies, such as the loss of someone close (or even several at once), then very often adults tend to devalue children’s grief. Moreover, this grief can have completely different reasons. From, for example, the loss of a favorite toy or thing to the death of a pet. For most parents, this is not something that is not a tragedy on the same scale as the baby experiences, but for the most part is of a purely economic nature. So, recently I had the opportunity to observe a crying boy of 3-4 years old, accompanied by a very angry mother. Judging by the conversation he involuntarily overheard, the boy lost his cap somewhere. Moreover, for him it was precisely the loss of his favorite thing, and his mother was more worried that she would now have to spend money on a new cap. And such moments happen very often. Including, in my childhood (I was also about 4 years old) there was a moment when a budgerigar died. I was told that “he flew away and did not want to return.” It is clear that with such excuses, parents, incl. trying to protect the child from worries. On the one hand, this is quite understandable. On the other hand, the service is generally “bearish”. There are several pitfalls here: a) the child remains in the dark and does not learn to perceive death (or the loss of anything in general) as a natural part of life. b) the emotions of grief are not experienced properly. In addition, they may be layered with a feeling of guilt (1. The parrot flew away because I did not care enough about it. 2. Because of me, I will have to spend money on a new thing... Etc.)c) suppressed and unlived emotions can result in a number of disorders, both somatic and mental, and behavioral. d) the child may feel that adults do not trust him, or, even worse, they simply deceived him. Therefore, parents (and other adults) should remember that this may seem like such a small thing only to them. And for a 4-year-old, and even older child, this is truly a tragedy. With whom he is ultimately left alone. Even such a situation as a quarrel with a friend, it only at first glance seems like “what do the children understand, they will go crazy.” But in fact, for them, and even at an older age, even in early adolescence, such quarrels with friends destroy the world. Moreover, if kids can still argue, and after five minutes play peacefully together again, then with teenagers everything is much more acute and larger-scale. For parents, the recommendations are, in principle, simple. Namely: a) let the child understand that such experiences can occur, and even if it hurts, this is normal in such a situation. b) do not try to “treat” the child, do not impose your point of view. c) support, make it clear that he (s) can come to you for help or just cry. d) teach (if you know how) to express emotions and relieve emotional tension. Because complex techniques may be “too much for a small child”; ask him, for example, to hit a pillow. Or shout into the water (in the bathroom you open the tap, and the baby shouts out all his worries after the flowing stream). Those. - everything is the simplest and most accessible... If the period of experience has dragged on, then it makes sense to seek professional help. Dear parents, remember, it is from your example that the child learns everything. Incl. and emotional manifestations in various situations! And your task is to be there at such moments, to support and guide! To work through a wide range of emotions and stabilize emotional states, I offer my author’s MAC deck “Give me your paw, friend!” You can separately purchase a video lecture on working with the deck.__________ Tel. and W/A: +7 964 779 97 50e-mail: [email protected] Website: http://www.vtimofeeva.ru/