How often do we not do something, fearing that someone will judge us. Or he will think badly. For some this fear is very pronounced, for others it is less so. But it definitely doesn’t happen that a person doesn’t think at all about how others will react. The fear of condemnation will be stronger for those people who put their own desires and needs in second place. Those who did not receive the right to satisfy their own desires and needs. Those who in childhood had to satisfy their parents’ needs and desires much more than their own. Those whose parents didn’t particularly hear, who were told what and how to do and did not listen to the child himself, who wanted something else. So the child learned to push his own desires and needs into the background. And put strangers on the first. And when such an adult person wants to do something, he is stopped by condemnation from other people. It turns out that your need is to do something. And you expect to be judged. This means that others don't want you to do it. Or they want you to do it, but not like that. Accordingly, their desire and need is for you not to do or to do differently. And, if you, fearing condemnation, do not do what you wanted, i.e. If you don't satisfy your needs, then you satisfy the needs of others. This means their needs come first, and your own come second. To reduce the fear of judgment, which sometimes prevents you from moving towards your goals, you need to give yourself the right to satisfy your own, namely yours, needs and desires. Just as you once had complete the right not to play this hated piano. After all, this was not your need. This was the desire of my mother, who dreamed of playing, but apparently did not have the opportunity. Or was it “the desire of society” - after all, all good children were simply obliged to play the piano. At the same time, you had every right to go, for example, to dances. Or choose something that you really wanted. Those. you had every right to meet your own needs, and not those of others. You were not given such a right as a child, but you can give it to yourself now. And then the fear of condemnation may remain, but it will not be so strong as to prevent you from moving on in life and doing what is right for you. It is possible. It’s already possible, my friends, to think about yourself and your needs. Let's give ourselves permission. The time has come. Author: Yulia Levchinskaya And, I invite everyone to my Instagram *, where I write not only long articles, like here, but also short ones for every day. And all my texts are accompanied by very beautiful photographs from Switzerland, the place where I now live. And of course, sometimes I write about Switzerland. Link to my Instagram* INSTGR_LINK. * Instagram is owned by Meta, which is recognized as an extremist organization in Russia.