Recently, during a consultation, I “accidentally” remembered one interesting technique. Even I would call it “thought transformation.” The point is that each of us has something that we are afraid of. Every area of ​​our life has its own set of fears, apprehensions and fears that hinder us. Moreover, there is an expression “what we fear is what we get.” Why is this so? Because we think about it. We constantly “meditate” on what we want to avoid. And in this process we identify ourselves, we identify, in general, we become like those who we do not want to be or we acquire what we do not want to have. Thanks to fears, we can understand our desires. The only thing that is needed is to transform fears into desires. We need to change the pictures and images in our thoughts and transfer them to the other side. I would divide our fears into 2 categories: those that relate to character, personality; and something that is related to external factors. First category. I'm afraid of being like one of my relatives (they constantly compare me, and I wouldn't want to be like her). Or am I afraid of being a bad mother, a nervous wife, etc.. In this case, we need to understand what we want to be. When we understand what we want from ourselves as the personality of a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, it is necessary to either leave this image in our head (the image of what I want), or reinforce it with an example from our environment. And he learns to focus not on his fear, but on his desire. Perhaps in this case it will help to write down in detail everything that you don’t like about a relative, or what a bad mother or spouse means to you and create the opposite image. In the case of a relative, you can reject him only because your similarity has been imposed on you for a long time, and you wanted them to pay attention to your individuality. Then just focus on what you like about yourself and forget about this relative altogether. Or you don’t want to be like him, because you heard criticism addressed to him, then transform the criticism. Second category. I’m going to a new company and I’m afraid that if I say something, they’ll make fun of me. I have a new manager, we and We’ve crossed paths with him before, I’m afraid that we won’t work together. I’m going to see a young man for a week, he has a lot of work, I’m afraid that I’ll be alone and he won’t pay attention to me. We have a lot of such little fears every day. In fact In fact, what do we want? I want to be accepted in the new company, to be interesting to them, and also for us to have common topics of conversation that we could discuss freely and calmly. I want recognition from the manager. I want our interaction with him to be productive, fruitful and for us to be a good team. I want him to trust me as an employee, as a professional in my field. I want help from him in moments where I cannot resolve the issue. I want us to be able to exchange how we spent the day, so that he is interested in how I spent it, so that we spend more time together. In fact, our fears are not so are as important as the desires that lie behind them. Once we know about our desires, the next question arises, “how can I get it.” In caring about this, we no longer focus on our fear, it no longer worries us, but it is important for us to satisfy what was hidden behind it - our desire. Don’t hide your desires. Give them a chance to live.