Hagiodrama “Conversion of the Apostle Paul” (about hagiodrama as a psychodramatic work on the lives of Orthodox saints, see the article “Hagiodrama”) In total, I remembered four hagiodrama productions of the life of the Apostle Paul, which took place in the period from 2010 to 2015. The protagonists were very different, their interest in the Apostle was caused by different reasons and they chose different scenes for staging, but one scene was present in all four hagiodramas - this is the scene of the conversion of a young Pharisee named Saul on the way from Jerusalem to Damascus (Acts 9: 1 -18):1 Saul, still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord, came to the high priest 2 and asked him for letters to Damascus to the synagogues, so that whoever he found following this teaching, both men and women, would be bound and brought to Jerusalem. 3 As he walked and approached Damascus, suddenly a light from heaven shone around him. 4 He fell to the ground and heard a voice saying to him: Saul, Saul! Why are you persecuting Me? 5 He said: Who are you, Lord? The Lord said: I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It's hard for you to go against the grain. 6 He said in trembling and horror: Lord! what do you want me to do? and the Lord said to him: Arise and go into the city; and it will be told to you what you need to do. 7 But the people who walked with him stood dumbfounded, hearing the voice but seeing no one. 8 Saul rose from the ground, and with his eyes open he saw no one. And they led him by the hands and brought him to Damascus. 9 And for three days he did not see, nor did he eat or drink. 10 There was a certain disciple in Damascus named Hananiah; and the Lord said to him in a vision: Ananias! He said: I, Lord. 11 The Lord said to him: Get up and go to the street called Straight, and ask in the house of Judas a Tarsian named Saul; he is now praying, 12 and saw in a vision a man named Ananias come to him and lay his hand on him so that he could receive his sight. 13 Ananias answered: Lord! I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he did to Thy saints in Jerusalem; 14 And here he has authority from the chief priests to bind all who call on Your name. 15 But the Lord said to him, “Go, for he is My chosen vessel, to proclaim My name before the nations and kings and the children of Israel.” 16 And I will show him how much he must suffer for my name. 17 Ananias went and entered the house and, laying his hands on him, said: Brother Saul! The Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the path you walked, sent me so that you could receive your sight and be filled with the Holy Spirit. 18 And immediately, as if scales fell from his eyes, and suddenly he received his sight; and, standing up, he was baptized... During the production of the first hagiodrama, a warm-up was born, depicting three systems of values, in the field of collision of which Paul’s entire life passed, and designated as “Jews,” “Christians,” and “Gentiles.” Group participants were asked to imagine themselves living in the first century and voice the position of one of three groups. In almost all hagiodramas, “Jews” and “Christians” identified themselves something like this: “Jews” spoke about themselves: - we are an ancient people, we have five thousand years of history behind us; - we are strong in our traditions... - we are chosen among other nations; - we have a Covenant with G-d. We keep the memory of Him, while other nations have forgotten about Him; we feel His support. Always when we need it, He sends a Prophet; - it is stupid to consider as the Messiah the one who was crucified as a robber, and the “Christians” were accused of treason. “Christians” answered: - we saw the risen Christ with our own eyes, we touched Him, listened to Him, talked to Him; - we must tell everyone about this; - the promise was fulfilled, and they accused the “Jews” of cruelty towards them, recalling the murder of Deacon Stephen. The feelings of the "Christians" ranged from indignation to regret, but on the whole they tended to relate to the "Jews" as grown-up children do to their elderly parents. The “pagans” looked at them from the outside: - we are indifferent to everything that happens here; - in fact, we don’t understand what they are arguing about... - so what? Some new sect has appeared among the Jews, let them figure it out themselves. - There are many gods; one more, one less - what's the difference? - as long as they don'tthey start riots, it doesn’t concern us. The zealous Jew Saul, who was present at the stoning of Stephen (Acts 7:58), having become an Apostle of Christ, loved the Jews with all his soul and sought to convert them, but for the most part he converted the pagans, for which he was nicknamed the “Apostle of the Gentiles.” At the moment when the warm-up turns into the main action, the edge of the triangle, which simultaneously connects and separates “Jews” and “Christians,” turns into a road from Jerusalem to Damascus. In the figure of Saul, there is initially a conflict between traditional Jewish values ​​and the emerging Christianity, the resolution of which leads to conversion. In hagiodramas, this conflict was resolved in different ways, depending on what exactly the protagonist identified as specifically Jewish and specifically Christian, and on his readiness for change. In any case, two episodes always occupied a special place in the production: the Voice of God and blindness/insight. From an interview with a group memberLO: What is the next drama you remember? Olga: This is a hagiodrama about Pavel. I don’t remember who I was there, but the impression was strong. Of course, the brightest moment, literally and figuratively, is the appearance of the Light of the Lord to Saul. A moment of physical blindness... Still, it seems that I was a double... And maybe I was the voice that said that it was probably difficult to go against the pricks... LO: One way or another, you identify with Pavel. Olga: Yes, of course. The most striking thing is the change that happened to Saul, when he went from being a Pharisee, convinced of the rightness of his actions, of the need to destroy Christianity, participating in the murder of... who...? whose clothes was he holding..?LO: Do you remember the episode with the stoning of the first martyr Stephen. Olga: Yes. So, when this miracle happens to him, he goes blind... My deep understanding of blindness is such that it was necessary to stop this active activity, under which doubts are already hidden that the Jews are right. There is an internal conflict when a person feels both that he is right and doubts at the same time. Then external activity replaces the internal activity necessary to understand the conflict. And this external activity was stopped by blindness. It was necessary in order for the conflict to be realized. LO: This blindness, this cessation of activity - what do they mean for you? Olga: There is a danger, a temptation to get carried away with something, some activity, when you stop feeling what is happening around you and act out of habit, out of inertia. The matter becomes stagnant, and it is difficult to abandon it: I know this, I can do this, so I will do it. And the life situation requires flexibility, which is impossible if you do not feel God’s will and the change in the situation in your heart. It should be noted that Paul's spiritual insight in the text of Scripture is not equal to his conversion: “I did not then consult with flesh and blood, and did not go to Jerusalem to the Apostles who preceded me, but went to Arabia, and again returned to Damascus. Then, three years later, I went to Jerusalem to see Peter" (Gal. 1:16-18)." That is, it took Paul three years to comprehend what happened to him. The resource figures helping Paul in this in various hagiodramas were the Apostles from the 70s, Ananias and Barnabas baptizing Paul (Saul) in Damascus, Barnabas - his friend; a fellow student in the theological school of Gamaliel, who converted to Christianity before him. The psychodramatic exchange of roles with one of them allowed the protagonists, on the one hand, to voice their doubts and find answers to them, on the other hand, to enter the community of Christians, who, naturally, are not very friendly to him. gradually, a role symbolizing the internal reconciliation of Jewish and Christian values ​​emerged in the hagiodramas. We are talking about Paul’s teacher, Gamaliel, equally revered in both Judaism and Christianity. In Acts, his position in relation to Christianity is described as follows: “If this. the work is from men, then it will be destroyed; but if it is from God, then you cannot destroy it; beware lest you turn out to be enemies of God” (Acts 5:34-39)..