The article will be useful not only for fellow psychologists, but also for those who are going to family therapy. One colleague asked me to talk about how to conduct the first session with a couple, for which I am very grateful! It turned out to be an excellent topic for an article, which I first saved in bookmarks, right here, so as not to forget! I sincerely recommend that you do the same, colleagues! Because such blanks “hang” in your drafts, unfinished gestalts and articles, willingly or unwillingly, are added to 😊By the way, about gestalts! You can work with them like this: Metaphorical Associative Maps in Gestalt Therapy How else can you use Metaphorical Associative Maps in Gestalt Therapy? Only today, about family consultations! Let me remind you that conditionally the following can be classified as family: Working with a married couple or a couple in a relationship (including same-sex, there was such an appeal recently). Working with an adult son or daughter with one or both parents. Working with a child with one or both parents. Working with with the whole family Since I myself now work only in the online format, I will focus on it. Moreover, with work in the office, things are simpler: a group of two or more people comes at the appointed time and takes places, which ones are also sufficient diagnostic (but more on that some other time). For the online format, I have my own rules and they are as follows: I ask clients to work from Skype. There are separate reasons for this. Why is it better to use Skype or Zoom rather than WhatsApp or Viber when working as a psychologist online? It is advisable for the couple or other adults to be from different devices and even, if possible, from different rooms. This way, each of the participants feels freer than if he is in close proximity with another person, with whom he may now have a conflict or a tense relationship (otherwise, he would hardly have contacted). A group chat is created on Skype, to which a call is made. The duration of a couples or family session is usually at least 90 minutes! Calling (if we are talking about partners) by name only. Instead of He (a) - conditionally, Ivan, Maria or Vanya, Masha (as we used to call each other) We evaluate not the person, but the actions. Everyone has the right to say: “stop.” You cannot interrupt your partner, you can only note in the answer: “Here, Masha said that I don’t help her, but yesterday..." and when the partner has finished, answer him: "You, Vanya, of course, helped me bathe the baby yesterday, and on other days you won’t get a chance when you play tanks ..." How to start a couples or family session more effectively? Usually, I always start with an introduction, but... I ask each participant to introduce not himself, but his partner. And do it in the form of a “burger” or “sandwich”, when we start with the positive. We start with the “first half of the bun”: how we met, why we chose this particular partner (if we are talking about a couple) or something very important and pleasant things about your mother/daughter/son. Then the “meat” - about what in a person’s behavior (and not in himself) causes negative emotions, specific situations with examples are required. And we cover with the “other half of the bun” - for what, what, after all, am I grateful and what are the expectations from the partner’s actions in joint therapy. I give about 20 minutes for each side and constantly monitor the regulations and lead each participant with clarifying questions that arise from narration. For example: “Ivan, you just said that Maria is behaving rudely, can you give a specific example of what you think is rude behavior of a spouse?” PS Usually, already during the first such session, the main pains of a couple or family are revealed and it becomes clear. where to move next in therapy. © Family psychologist Natalia Filimonova, 2021. All rights reserved. How to become a sought-after psychologist in a short time Coaching groupStart March 16 at 18:00 Moscow time?