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I'm not a robot

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Privacy - Terms

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In the lives of many couples who have a small child, sooner or later there comes a time when it becomes necessary to register the child for kindergarten. For some families and their children this is not a big problem – the baby is easily persuaded to go to kindergarten. He goes there with pleasure, he even likes it there to some extent - new children, new toys, the absence of his mother’s watchful gaze nearby, which means a kind of freedom. In this case, mothers can be divided into 2 categories: 1. The first are those mothers who are happy for their babies and, without worrying about their child, release him to the care of nannies and teachers. The only thing that’s depressing is getting up early, but you can cope with that too. In general, we can say that everything is relatively not bad.2. The second category, in which mothers themselves are very worried about the child’s departure. “Today, standing in front of the garden gate, my baby let go of my hand and happily ran into the garden, and I stood alone in front of the gate and didn’t know where to go. It was scary, painful, and upsetting to the point of tears: does he not need me anymore? Will he now cope just fine without me?” In fact, this is not so - your baby still needs you, it’s just that kindergarten in this case is an alternative for the child to living at home. This is a new experience of communication, new knowledge about the society in which your baby will live in the future, this is the first attempt at conditional independence from parents: “I can do what I want, without my mother’s intervention.” And for you, this is an opportunity to finally do something myself, after a long break. Draw attention to yourself again: make face masks, change hair color, read a new interesting book, or improve your professional qualifications interrupted during maternity leave. But there are also families for whom sending a child to kindergarten is a big desperate act that requires a lot of effort and energy for its realization. These are the families I would like to talk about today. And so, an ordinary family - mother, father and pre-kindergarten child. When the question arises about enrolling a child in a kindergarten, the first step is to search for a suitable kindergarten - options are looked through, reserves are sought. After some time, when the kindergarten itself has already been determined, a new long and difficult period begins for both mother and baby - the period of the baby visiting this same kindergarten, that is, the period of adaptation to new family and social conditions. How does this complexity manifest itself? The bulk of this difficulty lies in the fact that the baby abruptly and for a long time begins to stay with strangers, until this moment unfamiliar aunts, and, accordingly, without his mother. Of course, in the garden itself there are these very adaptation periods, when the mother stays with the baby for some time or the baby himself is not in the garden for a full day, but this does not solve the problem that has arisen - the mother still leaves and the baby is left alone in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people. Try it imagine yourself in his place at this moment. I tried it - it's terrible. I had mixed feelings of fear, loss, hopelessness and powerlessness, but I can describe and understand the feelings that arose, but what about a kindergarten-age baby? And thoughts swarmed in my head: “Did they abandon me?”, “I behaved badly and I was punished, but why was I punished?”, “Mom doesn’t love me anymore, so she gave me to these aunts?” And the kids begin to be capricious. They don’t want to visit the garden - they are afraid that their mother will never return. They throw so-called hysterics in locker rooms - this is a cry for help: “take me away from here, I feel bad here, I want to come to you,” “don’t leave me here, I want to go home.” In some cases, children can start fights in the hope that their mother will punish them and take them home, that is, not allow them to stay in the garden, because the child got into a fight with someone there. They begin to act in manners, imitating adults, because adults do not need to go to kindergarten, since they themselves can choose where to go. They divide teachers into good and bad - they lead with good ones.

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