As I already wrote, a person with a food addiction seems to “get stuck” in adolescence. Therefore, many manifestations of his character are the traits of a teenager desperately trying to grow up and at the same time afraid of this. Let's see what traits are characteristic of adolescence? Maximalism Maximalism is clearly manifested in adolescence: get everything or nothing, do everything or nothing, the result must be manifested exclusively at 100 percent; if it does not at least slightly correspond to what was expected, it is completely devalued . This often manifests itself in very ordinary everyday things and actions, for example they say: “I will meet my friends if the weather is nice. If it rains, I’ll stay home.” They are sincerely surprised if you ask them if you can take an umbrella or put on a raincoat. It just doesn't occur to them. This is so ingrained in their way of thinking that they do not notice how they reason in this way about literally everything. ​This is also related to the time it takes to obtain the result. For example, the correct result is the one that will be obtained tomorrow, but the day after tomorrow it will no longer be.​ Sees everything either black or white, there is no middle ground, there are no halftones and compromises. Addicts do not see shades in life situations. They don’t see that any situation is not unambiguous, that it contains both positive and negative aspects. As a rule, they initially determine for themselves what is good and bad, and no longer change their opinion. They see only two sides of the situation, and not always the brightest ones, but simply those that they are used to seeing. They may not notice that the situation, for example, is about something else altogether. They treat people the same way: good - bad, kind - evil. If you ask them, they often cannot name many character traits, since their experience with them is still in childhood. Accordingly, they do not analyze a person in many ways, do not see that he is different in different situations, and behaves differently. Stubbornness, sometimes does not understand why, but still does the opposite and cannot stop. This is a normal character quality for teenagers - I already understand that they shouldn’t do this, but they can’t stop. Firstly, this is connected with the physiology of the brain - it has not yet grown, is being formed, and is not always able to control the emotions and feelings of a teenager, and actions follow them. This is the problem for parents - they must understand and take this into account when communicating with their growing children. However, the physical age of the addict is older, and yet his brain works the same way - it is not fully formed. Let's just say that its formation is not complete. In order for character formation to be completed in the sense of control over your thoughts, feelings, reactions and actions, you need to learn this, gain experience, that is, constantly be in life situations where you need to do it, make mistakes, analyze and do it again. And the dependent person, due to a number of circumstances, is deprived of this opportunity. As a result, on the one hand, he tries to communicate to a minimum, avoids deep relationships and “strong” situations, on the other hand, he does not know how to competently analyze his behavior even in the few life circumstances in which he is included. It turns out to be a vicious circle. The second point is that the teenager is trying to prove to the whole world, and to himself, that he means something, can do something, is something. Hence the stubbornness. Even if he is told that it will be bad, he needs to prove that his opinion or action is also important, even if they are wrong, they have a right to exist. If close people always say what is right, then how can he declare himself to the world - through wrong actions - he essentially has no other choice. Here, parents often ask me what to do, and I suggest they stop being right and proper all the time, and start saying as often as possible that they don’t know what to do. Then the child is forced to start thinking and looking for solutions himself. (TOUnfortunately, this alone is not enough; a child (even an adult) can be frustrated by the fact that he suddenly has to think for himself, because he doesn’t know how. This can trigger new bulimic attacks. Therefore, in addition, it is necessary to teach parents how to begin to teach their child to think and reason.) Personality formation, self-search, search for life guidelines and the meaning of life For adolescents, issues of personality formation and self-determination are a very important aspect of their inner world. The same goes for people with eating disorders. They are “stuck” in finding themselves. But no one is helping them move in this direction, and they themselves cannot learn and are marking time. Unfortunately, over the years, these questions get worse, because they feel: life goes on, but I’m still there. This comparison is especially acute if they intersect with their familiar peers who are already working, have started a family, and have children.​It is extremely difficult to deal with these important issues alone. In schools, in the family, in general in today's society - with these aspects of life there is absolutely nowhere to go, no one to turn to. Books are not enough. There should be someone wise nearby, with sufficient life experience, who would help them understand and decide on them. It’s good if a psychologist can help in such matters, or at least provide guidance. The search for self-identification is the search for one’s social status, one’s social group. It is extremely important to please a large number of people. This intersects with the search for the meaning of life, but is not the same thing. It's more about society - profession, love, friends, buddies, hobbies. And again, unfortunately, in our society, very few opportunities have been created for teenagers to search for these things. There are even fewer of them for adults, and adult bulimics suffer from this no less. The most important thing to understand here is that it takes a very, very long time, years, to find and determine your place in life. For example, it is a rare case that a person has decided on his future profession by the age of 18. As a rule, even by the age of 25, not everyone can say with confidence that they have found their calling. This is completely normal. It is not normal for everyone to enter universities at the age of 18-20 in order to work in this direction for the rest of their lives. In any civilized country, young people spend their youth in search. And only by the age of 23-30 do they decide on the choice of their profession. The situation is aggravated by the fact that parents of bulimics do not accept and do not allow the options of leaving or changing universities, changing the direction of their professional activity, since this is socially unacceptable for them. I have had cases of people with bulimia who had two higher excellent educations, which they received it to please their parents’ demands, or with their blessing, but as a result they quit working in prestigious companies with large salaries, and never found their place in life. And this happened because what they really wanted to do was categorically denied by their parents. By the way, career guidance takes up almost a quarter of the total time in consultations with people with eating disorders. Although we are talking about the psychological state of people with food addictions, It is worth forgetting about important physiological aspects that directly affect both the psyche and the psychological state of these people. Puberty leads to a “rebellion of hormones”; this scares many; Many teenagers are faced with these manifestations to one degree or another. Due to the influence of society, or their own internal feelings, people with eating disorders “refuse” to experience these conditions; they frighten them too much. Man is designed this way: everything that has appeared in us - sensations, emotions, feelings - we must live, let through ourselves and let go. Otherwise, all this remains and is stored or accumulated for years. As a result, for the addict, this hormonal explosion does not go away, but perhaps grows. You need to learn to let off this steam. For this purpose, in the treatment of eating disorders, it is used/