«Mom, don't yell at me! and self-harmful behavior. But many parents are familiar with this situation: the child behaves badly, does not obey, there are problems at work, there is a whole bunch of things to do at home, strength is running out, and the parent, having exhausted all peaceful possibilities to call the child to order, lashes out at his beloved child and screams. And often, having already calmed down, parents feel guilty, realizing the wrongness of their behavior. It is important to understand that if such parental behavior occurs sporadically, very rarely, then it is unlikely to cause irreparable harm to the child; it is enough to ask the child for forgiveness, explain to him why mom or dad broke down, perhaps agree with the child on how they will act in the future in such a situation. But if you notice that screaming has become the norm in your family life, then our recommendations can help you. It is important to study the precursors of anger, each person has their own: for some it is a feeling of pressure in the chest or head, for others it is floaters before your eyes, remember that it is easier to cope with anger at earlier stages. The first rule when dealing with a conflict with a child is to calm down yourself! To do this, it is often enough to leave the situation... physically. Leave the room, telling your child that now you need to be alone. At the moment of anger, every glance at the child increases aggression, so distraction is very helpful - do physical exercise, dust the house, do a crossword puzzle or just breathe - counting from 1 to 5 – inhale, from 5 to 1 – exhale. Shift your attention from conflict to neutral actions. If emotions run high, washing with cold water can help. At the peak of emotions, people often say and do things that they later regret. Therefore, if you feel that you are about to “explode”, just stop, freeze, take a deep breath, look at the situation from the outside, analyze how you feel, what you want to get from this situation, what can help, and only then – act! Analyze in what situations you most often yell at your child. It is necessary to strictly distinguish between situations when the causes of anger are the child’s behavior and when there are some external factors (fatigue or anger at other people). After you identify the child’s undesirable behavior, help him cope with it, praise him in situations of desirable behavior, try to understand the reasons, if necessary, contact a child psychologist. It is important to understand that screaming as such does not help cope with “bad behavior”, but is often the cause of it. Read child psychology. There are developmental features at each age stage. If you really look at your child’s abilities and capabilities, then some situations will no longer cause anger and anger due to the fact that you will know that at this age your child is simply NOT ABLE to fulfill your requirements. There is another important recommendation for parents - to take care of yourself, your physical and mental state: get enough sleep, eat well, drink enough water, take care of yourself during periods of poor health. It is important to remember that not all recommendations can be followed the first time, but gradual training will certainly bring their fruits. Remember that a child coming into this world needs an adult, his love and care. For him, the parent's dissatisfaction and screaming is a very strong stress, at which time it is difficult to convey rational information to the child. No matter how much you shout, at this moment he is simply not able to perceive notations and moral teachings, as is inherent in nature. Therefore, before moving on to educational conversations, calm down yourself, calm the child, drink tea, play together, go for a walk, and when the emotions subside, talk calmly with the child!