You probably know people who get offended all the time. Any conflict ends in resentment. The slightest criticism or remark, and sometimes just an attempt to express one’s opinion, leads to the same reaction from the interlocutor - he is offended. And at this moment it begins to seem to us that we are dealing with a “pouting” child with whom it is impossible to establish contact. Or maybe this is true? What makes a person react with offense? And why does this particular reaction occur over and over again? Is it possible to stop being offended? Resentment arises when something goes “not my way.” Remember a small child who cannot cope with the situation - the car does not want to obey and does not move. Accustomed to the fact that the whole world obeys his desires, the child cannot bear that something “falls out” from this picture of the world - and in resentment and anger he begins to destroy everything around him, cry and stomp his feet. He doesn’t want to play, doesn’t want candy, doesn’t want to negotiate. All you need is for the car to move. Resentment is an expression of a child's position. And in any adult who reacts with offense, his inner child speaks. “The world should exist only according to my laws, be adjusted to me, to my desires, and nothing else suits me!” At the same time, the person refuses to take responsibility for the current state of affairs and refuses to take an active part in correcting the situation. Figure out why the car doesn't move, what can I do about it? And also why am I reacting this way to this, what are my feelings now? The lack of an active responsible position is the main difference between the state of a child and the state of an adult in any conflict situation. At the moment when a person must come into contact with his responsibility for the current state of affairs, resentment arises - “you don’t understand me,” and responsibility falls entirely on the shoulders of the interlocutor. The one who is offended is never to blame for anything, everyone around is to blame and should, and this is very convenient - you can always “squeeze out” what you want. The one who is offended will inevitably feel guilty and try to correct the situation; a guilty person is very easy to manipulate. So resentment can be called one of the most convenient ways to manipulate people around you. Also, resentment is a great way to attract attention to yourself and receive it - in a positive or negative form. Either they will console and adjust, or vice versa - the person will receive “strokes” in any case, and whether they are positive or negative is not so important. Hypersensitivity and the constant desire to be offended can easily be called a way to get what you want from life. Only in this case, a person is not guided by a conscious and clear understanding of his goals, objectives, ways to achieve them, or the desire to improve relationships - the person is completely subordinate to his unconscious processes. An offended person also strives to relive again and again the feelings familiar from childhood - anger, pain, feelings of rejection and abandonment, loneliness, anger, sadness... The desire to be offended is like a drug with which you can relive these feelings again and again, which, in your own way in turn, they play a very important role in the psyche - they give an (unconscious) sense of stability, maintain contact with parents, and fuel depression. Being offended since childhood is so common and necessary that it practically means that if I am offended, then everything is fine, it means everything is going as it should. It is important to remember that there are more effective ways to live your life, react to conflict, and build relationships. You can start using them if you give up touchiness and cultivate the position of an Adult in yourself.