Work experience shows that this method of manipulation in relation to children is one of the most painful stressful experiences of a child in a child-parent relationship. This is not punishment, this is torture. This is not education, this is a breakdown of personality. You will probably ask me why I decided this? Here are the most memorable responses of people who experienced neglect in childhood by their parents: “Mom could show me that I upset her with my behavior and that made her offended. She said: “You offended mom.” And after that the worst thing happened - her silence. She could not talk to me at all for two or three days, and at that time I did not know what to do - I cried, I asked for forgiveness, I tried to appease her with something. It seemed to me that now it would always be like this. and I was afraid.” “I always have this: if someone is silent and doesn’t talk to me, then I feel like I’m guilty of something, but I don’t understand. This is all from childhood: I remember! Mom always abruptly fell silent and stopped answering me when I “didn’t listen.” And at the same time, she didn’t explain what I did wrong; I had to guess what my fault was. I approached, said, but if I didn’t guess, Why mom was offended, she continued to be silent, and if she guessed right, she immediately forgave me and continued talking to me as if nothing had happened. It was terrible! I still feel this way when my husband starts to get silently angry with me.” I think a couple of examples, and this is quite enough to understand the essence of what neglect by parents brings to children. Now let’s try to analyze the child’s feelings at these moments “ educational" strategy. What do we see in the foreground? The child’s lack of understanding of the context of the current situation: he does not know the reasons for such a drastic change in the parent’s behavior, he does not know when this will end and the parent will begin to communicate with him again, and, finally, he feels, that he is powerless in the face of this. This is how a persistent feeling of loss of emotional connection with the parent begins to form. This misunderstanding and this powerlessness become the basis for constant experiences of fear, rejection, and guilt. When the child grows up, but the parents’ behavior does not change and they continue this way of “communication.” ", then anger will be added to the above feelings. And, having matured, the person retains this method of reaction and this model of behavior in repeated situations. Conclusion: very simple - NEVER DO THIS TO CHILDREN! What then should you do instead? 1. Talk to your child. Even if you quarreled and want to remain silent, tell him that you are angry, upset, offended, etc. and you need to be silent for 5 - 10 minutes, relax, come to your senses, etc. and after that you will continue the conversation.2. There is no need to be flamboyantly offended, pouting your lips and turning away from the child. There are no silent expectations that the child “will figure everything out on his own and come running to ask for forgiveness.” We explain what exactly “went wrong” so that the child has an understanding of what happened and what his responsibility is in this case.3. Don’t pretend that you don’t hear or that you don’t care what the child wants to tell you here and now. It’s better to say that now you are not ready to talk and are tired, and after the conditional 10 minutes you will be ready to listen to him. I hope that many parents will refuse the weapon called “ignoring” when communicating with their children. Take care of yourself! Sabirov Salavat.