Acceptance is a widely used term in psychological literature (and therapy, of course); and consistently throughout history - in most situations in which its meaning can be understood incorrectly, it is understood that way :) Below - we will try to examine and deal with the most popular objections, misconceptions and “bugs” regarding acceptance. No. 1: Acceptance - this is passivity, inaction, connivance and “deflection”. From this point of view, it is implied that “acceptance” is behavior opposite to struggle, effort, overcoming difficulties, active and proactive activities, and so on. In fact, yes, this is in some way a “trap of language,” but it can be easily overcome - real antonyms Acceptance of this behavior described below: - Denial - Avoidance of experiences - Ignoring facts and circumstances - Exaggeration and understatement - Devaluation and idealization of events That is, to unconditionally accept is just to recognize the presence, the existence of something at a given moment in time exactly as it is, what it is; at least due to the fact that this is exactly what the circumstances are, regardless of desire. In some cases, a contrast is made between acceptance and humility; in which case all the negative epithets go to humility. This is also a stupid mistake - in general, humility from spiritual traditions has the same meaning as unconditional acceptance in psychotherapy. No. 2: “Accepting as it is” is a refusal to develop. Usually after this they talk about the Gestalt “Paradox of Development”: before To change something, you need to fully accept it. Although if you think rationally, this is not a paradox at all, but a healthy state of affairs; in order to change circumstances, you need to evaluate them from a reasonable, realistic position - without serious distortions, misconceptions and other things. In general, this is the moment that worries people in connection with unconditional Self-Acceptance and Acceptance of Others: “if I accept myself/others, then so everything will remain, nothing will change." This is not even a delusion, but in general terms ignorance and poor understanding of the fundamental laws of nature - everything changes, whether you like it or not; moreover, this is the meaning of existence - evolution and development, in all respects; acquiring new skills, abilities, knowledge, etc. That is, accepting something is the first step, but this is not the end, of course; Here it is worth mentioning separately the well-known “Growth Mindset” - i.e. People in acceptance are often limited by this moment of fear to accept themselves as they are - and they don’t like “as they are”; and you will have to live with this very sadly until the end of your days. In fact, it is worth accepting, first of all, the variability and plasticity of your nature - the fact that a person CAN change; Moreover, he does this, regardless of his desire (those who do not “die out”, according to Darwin). But further, a person can easily manage these changes, both partly “directly” (by changing his thinking and behavior), and indirectly - through behavior by changing the environment, which stimulates changes in personality in response. No. 3: “Problems can only be solved by accepting” = “Acceptance solves all problems” This is in a sense the opposite of the first two misconceptions; that is, acceptance is idealized and turns into a mystical, sacred action that magically helps in all matters. In reality - both yes and no; as stated above, acceptance is a necessary condition, but most often not sufficient for “radical changes” - in addition to accepting the situation, you also need to figure out what to do after this acceptance. That is, it is important to understand - for example, you can “unconditionally accept” your problematic parents; and this is important and useful, but in itself it does not solve anything in relations with them - actions, conscious behavioral acts decide. However, they still need to be reached - and acceptance is irreplaceable in this process. No. 4: “You must accept yourself to the end” (= Acceptance is some kind of state or “object” that can be obtained). Yes, as indicated - this is an implication that you can somehow "once and.