Often during adolescence, parents are faced with the disobedience of their children. Children seem to show their independence, “coolness”, they do not want to do what their parents tell them, etc. What is really happening? Adolescence is perhaps the most difficult period for both children and their parents. Firstly, a teenager ceases to be just a child, he has a desire to be the same as adults. But adults do not accept the child into “their ranks.” And the teenager seems to find himself in a transitional position between children and adults. On the one hand, he wants to be independent, make decisions about his life, make choices, and have the same rights as adults. On the other hand, his brain structures have not yet fully matured and therefore the teenager cannot yet bear full responsibility for his actions. He simply does not see the situation from all sides; this ability appears only at the age of 16. Therefore, a teenager cannot yet assess all the risks, think through all his actions, or make plans for the future. Secondly, colossal changes occur in the teenager’s body. His hormonal levels are not stable, resulting in constant mood swings (either euphoria or despondency). Therefore, the teenager reacts violently to many situations and cannot control himself. Also his body grows out of proportion. And often growth is painful. The child gradually turns into an adult. But this period of rapid growth is not associated with the most pleasant sensations (probably many adults remember this) and during this period the child is most vulnerable and susceptible to stress due to his unstable condition. Thirdly, the teenager develops an interest in the opposite sex, and He also has a desire to assert himself in the company of similar teenagers. It becomes very important to him how he looks, what place he occupies among teenagers (a leader or a loser). At the same time, the teenager’s appearance often changes not for the better, the sweat glands work intensely, acne appears, the hair is often greasy, the body is not proportional (long arms, legs). In short, with all the forced uncertainty due to changes in the body, it is important for a teenager to look good. And imagine a situation when you need a teenager to do something. You approach him, well, if with a request, or even with an order. And in response you hear: “No, I won’t do that!” And then the adult has a burning desire to “tighten the screws,” to force, to force, to achieve his goal, to win this battle, in the end. Because an adult perceives a child not as an immature person, but as a competitor who does not want to obey the will of an adult. Parents often do not take into account that in front of them there is a child who is not yet able to reason, just like an adult, who resists the will of an adult, but not with the goal of winning, but with the goal of defending his interests, his needs, his life. The teenager tries his hand, he tries to understand his own boundaries and the boundaries of other people. And he can do this only with the help of adults. And parents are the most accessible and suitable people for this. After all, firstly, they can create different situations for a teenager, they have experience, an adult worldview and a complete vision of the situation (then questions arise about proper nutrition, then a regimen, then playing on the computer, then lessons, etc.). Secondly, parents will not go anywhere after a showdown with a teenager; they will remain his parents, unlike the same teenage friends. Therefore, in confrontation with parents, a teenager not only begins to understand himself better, but also develops the necessary skills to protect his interests, his self for future life in the society of other people. But what should parents do when they are told “no”? Firstly, try to overcome the desire to “tighten the screws,” because this is exactly the reaction a teenager expects from you. Well, then, give the teenager time to make a decision and think. Give him freedom of choice. Then chances are that