Feelings of guilt that have no logical basis are called pathological. I'll tell you how to get rid of it. What happens when we fall into guilt? That's right, we lose control over our lives by giving it to other people. Where does everything come from? Of course, from childhood. When parents try to influence their child with phrases like “Mom and Dad will die, then you will know how to be angry with them,” “Mom tried so hard, cooked, but you don’t want to eat. Are not you ashamed?" If only mom and dad knew what monstrous consequences their seemingly harmless words would lead to. As an adult, this person lives with permanent self-doubt, low self-esteem, an increased sense of anxiety and constant doubts. He is subconsciously convinced that he has not earned the right to rejoice and enjoy life. He unconsciously avoids any situations that could be pleasant, joyful, or interesting for him. It’s as if he’s punishing himself for something he’s guilty of. But what is he guilty of?! In close relationships, these people are very distrustful and suspicious. They constantly check their partners, establish hypercontrol and cannot trust their loved one. Problems also concern the sphere of intimate relationships, because a person with a permanent feeling of guilt does not allow himself to relax and surrender to his feelings. It constantly holds back sexual energy, which is why intimate relationships between partners worsen. How to get rid of permanent feelings of guilt? First, you should learn to track the moment when this feeling of guilt arises. Noticing the problem is already half the solution. Monitor situations in which others manipulate your feelings of guilt. Keep a diary of feelings in which you will note all the situations in which this unpleasant state appears. Describe in as much detail as possible everything that accompanied the guilt: bodily manifestations, thoughts, facial expressions, tone of speech. The next step towards getting rid of pathological feelings of guilt is changing the scenario. I mean the scenario of your usual behavior. If you used to agree to certain things, now you should say firmly and confidently no. This will certainly be difficult at first and may even come with even more guilt. However, you need to gather all your strength into a fist and follow the plan. “I have lived my entire adult life with a feeling of guilt. When I thought about what this could be connected with, I couldn’t find the answer. As a child, my parents constantly shamed me for not helping them around the house. I can't remember anything else. Pathological guilt prevents me from building relationships with the opposite sex,” says Marina. If pathological or irrational guilt does not allow you to be happy, come for an individual consultation. I will help you free yourself from this painful condition. Sincerely, your psychotherapist, Ilya Akhmedov.