From the author: An article about the fact that you don’t need to be guided by ideals and strive for the ideal of yourself and your children. One should strive from ideals to the authenticity and power of childhood. Authentic childhood. Today, it is more an ideal than a reality. The Siberian Institute of Phenomenological and Existential Psychology is holding blitz conferences - meetings for the evening with one prepared thematic message and discussion. The first such blitz conference took place at the institute’s office in Kemerovo on October 29, 2017. After discussing the issues of authentic childhood (authenticity - authenticity, reality both for the outside world and for the person or phenomenon himself), one of the participants asked a question that well reflects the popular attitude towards childhood and confirms the hypothesis of our topic: - “We must strive for ideal of childhood?” A wonderful question that helps express the main idea: No! You should strive for the ideal. Towards the authenticity of childhood. This, in fact, is the essence of the article: let’s strive from ideals to authenticity (for this, of course, we must have ideals), not to strive for ideals of children, students and adults, but to start from ideals towards the authenticity of childhood on that scale , content and actions that are accessible and feasible to us. Overall, the conference turned out to be good. They listened carefully and asked questions honestly. Thanks to all participants. Read more about authentic childhood Much has been written about how adults can raise children. And we will write about how children raise adults and how adults can EMPOWER from children. Let’s start with a modern problem. Childhood, like adulthood, like human life, can be different: happy and unhappy, honest and deceitful, light and heavy, light and dark, wise and naive, childhood can be different. But does childhood really exist? And if so, where? Can childhood not exist? Some authors argue that today we are taking childhood away from our children, immersing them in an environment of learning, development, technology, and our own fears and obsessions. For example, Mikhail Kazinnik: https://econet.ru/articles/129507-mihail-kazinik-zabirat-u-detey-detstvo-chtoby-soobschat-im-kuchu-informatsii-eto-prestupno. It is quite fair and wonderful that there are people showing samples. But this is about how it should be done. But that’s not the case with us. And at the same time, we are obliged to educate, teach and develop our children? We must live in what we have! And if there is no that school, that environment, about which it is correct, in principle, but not about us? The child is not busy, it’s bad. The child is overloaded, bad. The child is attached, poorly. The child is indifferent, bad. Only on personal pages of social networks everyone is doing well, everyone is so smart, successful, open. We are looking for childhood not “where we lose, but where there is light.” From whom and where do we learn to live with children? What do we do when faced with a question, difficulty or problem? Usually the sequence is as follows: first we ask Google (it tells you that you are a bad mother or a bad father), then we ask specialists (they say that today there are many like you, so there’s a queue), then we go to the store to buy a recommended “gadget”, it helps in some way for a while, but the general course of life remains the same. Is there childhood “on the World Wide Web” (the Internet), in a psychological, developmental or medical center, in publications, especially in a store? Maybe we should start looking for answers where childhood really exists? What is childhood? And real childhood? The definition of childhood and small comments not included in this text can be found in the dictionary: http://www.sifep.ru/images/ slovar_kurs/detstvo/index.html, (maybe something else will seem interesting). Childhood is the highest form of power. The child himself does not control anything, but obliges those around him with his presence so that everyone around him tries to take care of him. If this power does not exist, then there is no childhood either. Or childhood takes place only to the extent that its power takes place. Baby alwayspresent in relation to this childhood-specific power. In childhood, a child goes to the end and becomes a victim of his own power. Adults take care of the child as best they can. They often do less than they would like. Therefore, they get tired of childhood and childhood ends not only quickly, but often. The child is still small, but childhood is often no longer there. The adults are tired. An authentic, real childhood is not and is not ideal. Therefore, it is worth striving for it. But childhood can be real. Childhood disappears, ends not once and forever, but every time we stop serving its power and submit to another power, if not the lowest, then certainly no longer the highest, for example, we submit to the power of our imagination, the power our feelings or ideas, not to mention the power of other people's opinions and social demands. Childhood does not remain in our past. If childhood is real, it stays with us forever and makes up our future. So is there a real, genuine, authentic childhood today or not? Childhood that is. We are often not there. To be in childhood and with childhood, you have to be not tired, not boring, not old. Easy to say! How is it? We must not be tormented by childhood and not tormented by it, but be educated by childhood, that is, be satiated with it and push it forward, ahead of ourselves, taking care of it. To be reduced to his power, while retaining his strength and dignity, is just as a dog is humbled before its owner in loyalty and service and therefore lives like a person, although the dog is older and its owner is a child in comparison with it, from the point of view of evolution. That is why the power is higher than him (the person). Those who are sensitive to reality, reality, the authenticity of childhood do not need to be taught to be with children. And they are not bad at dealing with adults either. The important thesis of the article: Let’s turn to “Child-free” spaces only with technical, simple questions for standard answers. And we will learn about real childhood where it exists - from people who are sensitive to the power of childhood and worthy of its power. Three existentials of childhoodChildhood is a period of maximum promise, maximum fragility, vulnerability and ultimate power. These three dimensions of childhood require correspondence in the world, in the situation, in action: The limit of promises (childhood promises to forgive everything, accept everything, learn everything) corresponds to trust in the genius of childhood. But people (adults) do not see genius in childhood. They believe that genius is when there are monuments, publications, citations, recognition. But genius is, first of all, originality, primacy, initiative. And childhood is brilliant. Extreme fragility corresponds to care. Don’t push in the direction where it’s tough, but control where it’s dangerous and “the green one will go on its own.” But “adults” can be too tense, hasty, and one-pointed. The extreme nature of power corresponds to joy. But adults are tired, preoccupied, boring. Therefore, we will write examples of inconsistencies, reasons for the inauthenticity of childhood. Childhood embodies three limits, three maximums, three existentials. Higher power. Without controlling, the child leads. Power that subjugates freedom, faith, love, rationality. Maximum promises. The child promises to accept everything, forgive everything, and make everything come true. The child is a genius. Maximum fragility. The child is extremely vulnerable. Reasons for the inauthenticity of childhood It may seem that childhood is real in itself, by definition. But if we look at childhood as a phenomenon associated with the world, life, with the large scale of reality, we will find that it is often just the opposite. The inauthenticity of childhood is a natural state. Authentic childhood requires special psychological effort from both an adult and a child. (A case of help in a situation of loss: https://www.b17.ru/article/90259/) At “short distances” adults are sensitive to children. Quite often you can see people carefully slowing down if they see a child, smiling at a small child. But in long periods of co-presence with children, everything is somewhat different. People are not always ready to share.