From the author: The true nature of a powerful woman is painful vulnerability, vulnerability, uncertainty and preoccupation with many fears. But there is always a “but”...The power of womenThe power of women at home can manifest itself in different ways. One of the most common options is to put forward a variety of requirements. For example, a woman categorically insists on following the rules of order, cleanliness, punctuality, sobriety, behavior “in society,” etc. The list of demands can be “creative” and varied, including both reasonable and absurd ideas: “After all, he knows how badly I react to this couple, which means he should support me and not go visit them!” The very setting of demands and the need to comply with rules is a very good feature that promotes discipline. However, there are several “buts” that make a demanding woman not so much disciplined, but, on the one hand, domineering and bitchy, and on the other, vulnerable, vulnerable and even helpless. What is this “but”? Adequacy of the rules. Very often, women's demands lack common sense. This happens when the rule comes from childhood, arose in the parental family, and is self-evident and acceptable only for members of this same family. For people from the outside, that is, for the husband or partner in a couple, these “canons” are strange, incomprehensible and alien. If this is so, then a woman often finds it difficult to answer why these rules should be unconditionally followed, explaining them by saying that it is necessary, “because it is necessary.” For example, “you can’t sleep until lunch”, “when you come home, you need to immediately change clothes”, “when guests arrive, everything must be cleaned”, “the dishes must be washed immediately after eating”, “cleanliness in the house is not the main thing, but it is important to know how to cook”, “You can’t go to visit without your husband,” etc. Some of these rules are universal for many families who grew up in the post-Soviet space, others are “developments” and “finds” of specific families. When a rule is partly absurd or non-universal, that is, when there are no obvious reasons for unconditionally following this rule, a woman’s categorical attitude towards its implementation makes her a domineering tyrant. She demands that it be the way she wants and the way she is used to, while not paying attention to the fact that close people have different habits and desires, and that in general they are not identical to her. Thirst for control. Stiff adherence to rules is often accompanied by a need for control. It is important for a woman to know a lot, if not everything: from the location of clothes, medicines, documents in the house to the detailed daily schedule of her partner and children, their plans, and (importantly!) what will happen if plans change. Such a woman wants guarantees and obligations, proof and clear alternatives. It is very difficult for her to withstand uncertainty, the unknown, or simply be patient and wait for what will happen. Thus, a young mother will begin to snatch the child from the father’s arms if he makes the slightest mistake, rush to wash the dishes if they are not washed right away, and begin to criticize loved ones for irresponsibility, laziness and indifference if they deviate from the agreement. In a word, it is difficult for such a woman if something happens that deviates from the course of events that she sees, wants to see, or plans. A feeling of shame. Women who crave control not only evoke feelings of rejection and irritation, but also deep sympathy. Since, in addition to the power, irrationality of attitudes and thirst for control discovered step by step, something else can be noticed in them. And this is an unbearable, painful feeling of shame in those cases when events deviate from the plan. Thus, many women suffer (but not from real troubles, but from a feeling of shame and embarrassment) when their husband, after drinking in company, begins to “talk” something funny and absurd; when he says something harsh or rude in front of his “correct” mother-in-law, when he is late for a visit, when he bullies his younger sisters (brothers), when he is too tall (too short), when he is thin (or overweight), when he is dressed in the wrong way ... In a word, how