How can you manage your emotions? You can often hear the following phrases: “He made me angry,” “She makes me angry,” “They annoy me on purpose.” And this seems normal. Some bad person does something that you don’t like in order to cause deliberately negative emotions in you, which will pass through your psyche like an explosive wave, depleting it, after which you will not be able to recover for a long time. In such situations, you sincerely believe that the other person is doing all this on purpose to make you experience unpleasant feelings. If he begins to do things differently, then your unpleasant emotions will not appear and you will feel at ease and calm. This is a great way to shift responsibility for your well-being to someone else. In fact, emotions are yours and therefore, only you are responsible for what you feel. Your husband again did not put the cup in the sink. Your thought that he doesn’t appreciate your efforts to create a perfectly clean house makes you furious. Your child brought a bad grade from school. You are upset and think that you are a bad mother, and prison and money await him in the future. And now you experience pangs of conscience and anxiety. Emotions are simply your body's reaction to what you are thinking about. Thoughts constantly arise in your head and often evoke emotions. Have you ever thought that you yourself are responsible for your emotions? Is it possible to control your emotions or is it an unpredictable element that covers us like a hurricane or a volcanic eruption? I think some of the readers now doubt the postulate that emotions can be controlled even by an ordinary person. Therefore, to begin with, I will briefly explain how emotions arise. The scheme is extremely simple. 1. An event occurs 2. A thought comes to mind about this event3. This thought leads to an emotion. We cannot, as a rule, influence the event. But what to think and how to perceive the event is within our power. When a negative thought penetrates the consciousness, hormones are launched and emotions begin to flow. Only yogis can control hormones. (I’m not sure either) It will be difficult for us to control ourselves. Hormones are difficult to control. We can control emotions only at the stage of thought. Therefore, in order to control our emotions, we need to learn to track the thoughts that precede them. After all, any event can be interpreted in different ways. For example, you are walking down the street, a car drives by and, hitting a puddle, splashes you with dirty water. This is an unpleasant event. Out of your control. Just an accident. And in such a situation, different people think differently. Here are some options for thinking in such a situation: What a freak is driving. He bought his license and now drives without respect for pedestrians. And then - anger - Everyone steals and there are potholes on the roads! Down with the governor! Next - anger and aggression - The car could have driven a little closer, and I could have been under the wheels. Next - fear - there are splashes on your clothes, you will have to go back and change your clothes. I'll be late for a date. He will decide that I am unpunctual and leave me. And I will forever remain alone. Panic and despondency - I was sprayed, like in a comedy I recently watched, it looks cool. Then laughter, etc., etc. In a similar situation, different people will have different thoughts, and so will their emotions. It is up to you to decide how to think in such a situation. You can, if you want, not even experience emotions at all. If you don't evaluate this situation as good or bad. Just look at it without judgment and draw conclusions. There are thoughts without emotions. But there are no emotions without thoughts. Therefore, in order to learn to cope with your emotions, you just need to think differently. Of course, your thoughts are conditioned by the past. Or you were taught to think this way by your parents. Or public opinion, or the media. It doesn’t matter how thoughts that evoke negative emotions appear in your mind. It is important that these are your thoughts and that means you can control them. You just need to change your way of thinking. Stop them, as if you were changing the subject of a conversation with someone you know. Just stop. And direct your thoughts in a different direction. Sometimes the best way to feel better is]