A man called the Helpline. He tried to control himself, but he could feel that he was very worried. Oleg (that’s the caller’s name) divorced his wife a year ago. The former spouses have a daughter, she recently turned six years old. According to the father’s story, he and the girl had a warm, trusting relationship, which the father would like to maintain in the future. The ex-wife promises not to interfere with meetings between father and daughter, but about six months ago the child himself began to avoid communicating with his father. Oleg could not understand why this was happening. At the last meeting, the man found out that his daughter was afraid to communicate with him. The fear is caused by the fact that after the girl communicates with her dad, her mother’s mood sharply worsens. The ex-wife becomes angry and irritable towards her daughter. And the child tries as hard as he can not to upset his mother. Divorce is a difficult time for spouses. And this does not depend on how the marriage was - successful or not very successful. When it comes to divorce, most often they talk about the experiences of adults and forget about the feelings of children. Parents are focused on their own conflicts, and children, during the collapse of their world, need more warmth and attention than usual. I often observe how many men and women transfer their anger, resentment, hatred of their spouse onto the child. The deceased is not nearby, but the child is here, here. Sometimes it even comes to beatings. There are other dangers too. You can find parents who talk badly about each other, trying to get their children on their side. Moms and dads thus want to hit each other harder or get some benefits. I doubt that parents think about the child’s feelings at this time. But it's time to think about it. Dear parents, if you are in so much pain, then what happens to a child whose world is collapsing? After all, his family is his whole world for now. Children often blame themselves for the divorce (I behaved badly, so my dad left me). And your behavior can convince him of this assumption. Yes, relationships between a man and a woman sometimes end in a break, but this does not make these two cease to be parents. Therefore, psychologists urge parents to restore relationships after divorce in order to raise children. To parents who speak badly about their ex-partner, I want to say that even in a shelter, psychologists are working to preserve positive images of mom and dad. This is not done by chance. It is difficult to consider yourself good, thinking that you were born by unworthy people. The child perceives himself as a part of both parents. The mother, trying to erase from the children’s memory every positive memory of the father, encroaches on the development of their self-esteem and self-esteem. The wisest thing would be to create in the child an idea of ​​his father as a person who has his own positive traits and his own shortcomings. If a mother convinces her son or daughter that the father is “bad,” then she should be prepared for the boy to develop complexes and for the fact that it will be difficult for the growing girl to build relationships with the opposite sex. Psychologists note that preschool children experience divorce the hardest and adolescence. Boys and girls react differently to divorce: girls keep their experiences to themselves; they quickly get tired, become depressed, refuse to communicate, and become irritable. Boys begin to steal, use foul language, and run away from home. Psychological research suggests that almost half of children who have experienced a parental divorce show anxiety, depression, lack of confidence in their abilities, and sometimes even anger. Later, in independent life, they are very afraid of close relationships, often fear marital infidelity, and experience a breakup in relationships more difficult than children from intact families. Divorce is an extremely painful process. Here are some recommendations that will help soften this blow for the child: Each parent needs to talk with the child about the divorce and explain the reasons for it, taking into account the age of the son or daughter. Assure him of your love. Discuss with your child.