The word “hysterical” is more often used as a common curse word than as a diagnosis. This is the name given to an unrestrained person who, in the opinion of the interlocutor, splashes out too many emotions. Word from Wikipedia: Manifestations of hysteria included demonstrative emotional reactions (tears, laughter, screams), convulsions, paralysis, loss of sensitivity, deafness, blindness, clouding of consciousness, increased sexual activity, and more. Theatricality and exaggeration of emotional manifestations play a significant role in the dislike of hysterics , manipulativeness. Sometimes the hysterical woman seems to punish her interlocutor with her suffering, receiving sadistic pleasure. How to imagine a typical hysterical woman? Most often they are quite attractive and impressive. There is perhaps no single type of hysterical appearance. Among them are Marilyn Monroe, Minnie Mouse and girls with a dragon tattoo. But you can always literally smell this radical by the light flair of childishness, defenselessness, fragility and seductiveness. Here is one of the beautiful descriptions of this character: And this is about the feelings of a man: Although the Little Prince fell in love with a beautiful flower and was glad to serve him, but soon in his soul Doubts were awakened. He took empty words to heart and began to feel very unhappy. How do you feel about this rose? She seems to be both a woman and a child, dependent and capricious, touching and annoying at the same time. Such a woman combines sexuality and immaturity. This, perhaps, is the key to recognizing this character. It is not difficult for such a woman to attract attention, there is something warm and inviting about them, they may have fans, sometimes even in large numbers, but does this give personal happiness? Most often, no. The paradox of this character is attractiveness and loneliness, because they are able to win a man, but do not know how to be happy next to him. To understand why, you need to trace the development of this character. There are different theories about this. Nancy McWilliams, for example, outlines the common idea that it is based on trauma. Instead of a girl, they wanted a boy, they preferred brothers or other men to her, strong men suppressed and had power, and she suffered from helplessness and envy. And this girl herself was valued only for her external or emphatically feminine manifestations: for example, as an innocent baby with bows. Thus, a woman learns to use her external attractiveness to gain power and importance through a powerful man who can be seduced. It seems to her that she herself is worthless, and often this is far from the case, but she automatically devalues ​​her own achievements. It was about hysterical patients that Freud wrote about penis envy. It seemed to him that these women were extremely attracted to masculinity, so much so that they were grieving over their inability to have a penis themselves. But I think it is important to show that this view of things reflects only the defensive level of this character. And the true need of such a person is for a good maternal object, and not for a penis. Actually, women themselves are often deceived in this way, so they cannot find what they want, they are disappointed and feel unsatisfied. Initially, a baby, a small child is very dependent and needs help. It's about both physical survival and mental survival. The baby cannot calm down on his own, recognize his feelings and needs, or find an explanation for what is happening. Then the parent comes to the rescue, acting as a kind of intermediary between the child and his thoughts and feelings, his psyche. He recognizes the child’s states, separates them, gives them names, thereby normalizing them. The unmentalized psyche is like a wild horse that is gradually tamed by a parent. And so, after some time you can ride it for fun or work. This is the initial triangulation: the baby, his psyche and the parent. Theoretically, only the mother can be such a parent, but this wouldrequired almost endless resources from her, because you always need to be nearby and even in shape. It is unlikely that any real mother of flesh and blood is capable of this. Here the father should be very useful to the mother-child dyad. He can temporarily take on all parental functions, can support and bring the mother to life if she happens to become depressed and exhausted. If this does not happen, then, in case of overload, mother and child find themselves in the same sinking boat. They are slowly flooded with undifferentiated, unconscious impulses and feelings. As in the famous song, they have only one breath between them, because the baby is still too small and can only take, and it is very scary to find yourself in such a mental deficit. This is a truly terrible situation. There are many good images in horror films that illustrate this. For example, if we see some couple in some scary place, danger seems to be lurking around every corner and the environment is hostile, but then one of the characters suddenly changes and gradually comes the realization that the evil is inside him, now he is the main one danger. This is exactly what a child feels when the mother, called to be protection and support, cannot stand it and herself becomes a source of anxiety and pain. To avoid such breakdowns, a girl can try to attract a distant father so that there is more “air”, so as not to suffocate together with her mother. Children are very inventive and try out possible types of behavior, testing what their father will respond to. One of the ways to attract attention is femininity. The girl tries to guess her father's wishes and live up to it. This is how the image of a charming girl who knows how to please is fixed in the future woman. One of my clients lost her father very early and was left with her mother, who did little to help her. This was a young woman who was afraid of loneliness and was not ready to raise a child alone. I think she felt very guilty about leaving her husband and tried to protect herself from these feelings by looking for a new man. So my client turned out to be almost the main reason for her mother’s new marriage and for many years had an unofficial but tangible responsibility to keep her stepfather. I can’t describe her as a cutie with bows, rather she looks like a little robber from a fairy tale, but she also has a hysterical flair of childishness, mischief and seductiveness. Unfortunately, in the case of a hysterical character, this situation with the involvement of the father occurs too early. The child does not have time to be imbued with symbiotic unconditional love. Due to failures in relationships with parents, the ability to realize and counteract one’s experiences does not mature, and the longing for a happy pre-verbal experience remains for life. In practice, this means that such a beauty successfully attracts men, but she herself unconsciously yearns for an early, good mother. She demands or expects from men her functions: understanding without words, non-judgmental love, boundless acceptance of her in all manifestations, guardianship, a man must feel her better than she does herself. But even gaining such experience still does not help, because within herself she does not believe that she can be loved and tests her partner again and again, provoking conflicts. She felt unaccepted by her mother, who could not stand her, but her father’s love did not seem sincere to her, because it was not aimed at all of her, but only at an attractive image. All this created a crack in the very foundation of her self-love and self-confidence. The clearest example of this is Marilyn Monroe, for whom no amount of fame and beauty helped her gain confidence, which led to destructive consumption of alcohol and drugs. She dreamed of being a serious actress, I think, to prove to everyone and herself that she had a soul and deserved attention and love. But disbelief, fears, self-hatred sucked everything away: she came to the set drunk, often lost her temper, could not act... I don’t see anything reprehensible in a woman having a hysterical note. Each of us has our own character with a unique.