From the author: This article is a call for those who want to be happy, but they can’t, for those who don’t know what’s happening to them and how to help themselves, but really want to. Maybe I can push you a little to take a small step for your own happiness! “What will tomorrow bring?!” I don’t know... but definitely something bad!” And these “deceptive” defenses crawl into your head like ants, protecting you from something terrible, offensive, sick and, at the same time, from... your own happiness! So what! The main thing is that it won't hurt anymore. Of course THIS is the main thing! The main thing is not to experience this pain AGAIN. Unbearable... «... Why unbearable?! She was unbearable then... in childhood... for little you! And now you've grown up! Yes, it’s terrible, unfair, cruel, painful as hell... it was to face THIS...” And here an endless list of children’s “pains” opens up. Everyone has their own! Unique and destructive... dismembering you into pieces... killing your personality. And then...?!...emptiness, disappointment, resentment...which extends to your WHOLE life! Let me give you an example. One client complained about her relationship with a teenage child. Their relationship was very complicated, each of their quarrels turned into mutual assault, after which bruises and abrasions remained on both the mother and the child. And that's just physically. And what was left in her soul then... During the work, it turned out that the client’s father left his family and appeared in her life very rarely (once a month for 2-3 minutes) to give her candy. Then the choice of a spouse, corresponding to the childhood trauma, from which she later left. And now she is left alone with a still unformed man - her own son, over whom she has enormous power! And then the protective mechanism of the psyche (one of them) breaks through - REPLACEMENT. When the resulting pain cannot be directed to the object that became its cause, but is redirected to a less threatening object, as such a substitute, in this case - the son. Hence the scandals, fights, etc. This is how the client took out the pain and disappointment in men once “gifted” by her dad to her son. Is the child (son) to blame for this?! No. He defends himself as best he can, as best he can! Should a child be responsible for someone else's actions?! No! It’s good that mom came to a specialist on time - it was time to fix their relationship. And so, one injury gives rise to another. And these shackles stretch from generation to generation... Therefore, we must not forget, we must not bury, we must not run away, we must not “ignore”... our wounds. They will still gape, hurt and poison, first of all, your life and your loved ones too! After all, what we remember the longest is what we want to forget most... When we are faced with something that is unbearable for us (for our psyche) and that we cannot cope with, we use “escape hatches” (4 of them): kill ourselves (suicide) , kill another (crime), go crazy, run away (alcohol, drugs, prostitution, etc. - self-destructive behavior). And, if you are still not in one of these hatches, it means that your psyche is strong enough to cope with what once hurt you! Yes, strong! Only now all efforts are spent on hiding these “sick” memories from you into the unconscious. There is such a defense mechanism (one of them) REPLACEMENT. It represses all traumatic memories into the unconscious so that they don’t reach the conscious, because it’s too scary... And you have chronic fatigue, melancholy, depression, apathy, no strength... for anything... It seems like you slept, it seems like your body rested at night, but you get up all broken . “I don’t want anything... I have no strength to live... and there’s no reason to live.” And you get up in the morning, get ready for work, take the children to kindergarten or school, work, go shopping after work, pick up the children, cook dinner, get ready for tomorrow. And this is Groundhog Day. Nothing makes me happy. You live on automatic mode. And there is no happiness in life! If this is the case with you, then it’s time to open the pandorra box! (Under the supervision of a specialist, of course!)! It's time to open it up in order to get out childhood traumatic memories. And for…!