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Maria and her nine-year-old daughter Sasha came to the appointment from the urology department. The girl had enuresis since birth, but doctors could not help her. From a medical point of view, Sasha was “clean”, without pathologies or neurological disorders. Once again she was examined, but this did not change the situation. During the consultation, it turned out that Maria, Sasha’s mother, is already in her second marriage, that she is in a big and protracted conflict with her first husband, and her mother in every possible way prevents her from moving to her current husband; she, of course, forbids herself to cry, because “you have to be strong,” my daughter is sick, and the money for her treatment disappears like sand. Everything turned out dramatically and family troubles could very well have triggered enuresis in the girl. But in Maria herself, in addition to her chronic neurotic state, there was something that was alarming - on the one hand, her soul was worried and looking for ways of healing for her daughter, and on the other, something stony and dead was visible. The soul seemed to be split. I offered Maria one of the alignment exercises. She agreed, after taking her daughter to the department. We arranged the family, putting Sasha and the symptom in front. The field was so saturated with pain and violence, so clearly someone else was missing. I asked, after a moment’s hesitation, Maria answered in the affirmative. “I never told anyone about this.” “You were silent for 24 years?” “Yes.” At the age of 16, returning home in the evening after some rural holiday, Maria was brutally raped. She was tortured for a long time, and she only made it home in the morning. Her parents were sure that she stayed overnight with her friends, so they were not worried about her absence. The next day and for the next 24 years, Maria lived as if nothing had happened. She didn’t go to the police, didn’t open up to anyone, her rapist lived next to her all her life, a moment of relief came only once, when he died. She repressed all feelings, excluded all experiences, and never cried about that night in 24 years. The first husband, in her words, “strangely” looked like a rapist - he humiliated, beat, and sexually abused her. The marriage broke up, another man appeared, but the relationship with him did not work out either. After the story, Maria agreed to place the figure of the rapist “somewhere on the edge.” At a safe distance from yourself. Then she did what she had long wanted: she told her mother, beloved grandmother, and aunt what happened to her at the age of 16. After which the figure of the rapist moved to the place of the daughter’s symptom. We know very well that excluding trauma and pain, we still do not get rid of them, they do not dissolve, everything remains in the Field. The daughter began to “carry” her mother’s experiences and feelings. “Mommy, if you can’t cry, then I will cry instead of you, but only downwards” - thus, compensation has occurred in the system. Maria began to cry, but it was still difficult for her to express anger and anger, and most importantly, she saw the connection between her daughter’s symptom and her story. At the end of the exercise, Maria felt relief; with tears in her eyes, she said: “If only you knew how it was to keep everything inside yourself for so many years.” One consultation cannot instantly lead to recovery. We can move something, look at something. But this is often enough to start the search process, and in subsequent psychotherapeutic or constellation work, to find a solution. Children often, with their illness, either try to save their parents or carry something heavy in their place. The healing of a child can be interconnected with parental responsibility for their personal history, with all feelings and events, no matter how traumatic they may be for him. https://www.b17.ru/training.php?id=75729

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